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The NYPD Just Can't Keep Its Eyes Off Of You

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Hello residents of New York City! (And probably alsoNew Brunswick and parts of Connecticut, Buffalo, and Philadelphia)! Are you doing anything wrong? No? Then why not let Michael Bloomberg’s personal army the NYPD take a look at what you’re doing ALL THE TIME? You don’t mind, do you? After all, if you’re not doing anything WRONG (or emailing OTHER people who might, by some stretch of the imagination, be THINKING about doing something WRONG) then why would you mind? Good, now that this has been settled, you can look forward to the unveiling of the all-seeing "Domain Awareness System" next week, which is not at all Orwellian and given that it was developed via a partnership with Microsoft, has absolutely no security issues! Don't you feel Safer already?


ASPEN, Colo. (AP) -- The New York Police Department will soon launch an all-seeing "Domain Awareness System" that combines several streams of information to track both criminals and potential terrorists. New York Police Commissioner Raymond Kelly says the city developed the software with Microsoft. Kelly says the program combines city-wide video surveillance with law enforcement databases. He says it will be officially unveiled by New York's mayor as soon as next week.

Kelly spoke Saturday before an audience at the Aspen Security Forum.

The NYPD has been under fire for surveillance of Muslim communities and partnering with the CIA to track potential terror suspects. Muslim groups have sued to shut down the NYPD programs. Kelly defended the policies as key to thwarting 14 terror plots against the city since the attacks of Sept. 11th.

Of course, these “14 terror plots against the city” include the plot wherein the police gave $100,000 to a man of “limited functionality” who had no bomb, no link to foreign terrorist groups, and no real ability to carry out a terror plan. But kudos anyway, because it's the thought that counts.  Oh and they  also include a plot that was actually stopped by a T-shirt vendor in Times Square and that the NYPD knew nothing about beforehand.  But they WOULD have maybe if they had been able to conduct surveillance on the Time Square Bomber all the time, probably. And  think about how much SAFER you’ll feel when Bloomberg’s own army the NYPD are able to monitor YOUR every move, on or offline! After all, if you’re not doing anything “wrong” (or emailing someone else that might be thinking about doing something wrong) then why would you mind?

[the Washington Post]

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This weekend, hundreds of people are gathering in Denver, Colorado for the 2018 Flat Earth Conference -- two whole days of people with suspiciously Andy Warhol-like hair yelling "Where's the curve?!?" and talking about ice walls -- and we are missing out! Flat earthers are kind of the best of all conspiracy theorists, because aside from a few fascists and anti-Semites in the mix, they are mostly harmless cranks who just want to feel like they are way smarter than all of the scientists. As far as I know, believing in a Flat Earth, while stupid, has never hurt anyone -- which is honestly kind of refreshing these days!

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And yes, it's actually worse than it sounds, if that is possible.

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