Chris Onstad for Secretary of Treasury

So apparently nobody went to any stimulus parties this weekend, which explains why every mortgage in America went into foreclosure at 12 o'clock sharp today. The best you people could manage was standing around in sad clumps and bitching about Republicans, which is not quite the same thing. Anyhow, after the jump you will find a brief description of a half-legitimate stimulus party, courtesy of Wonkette poverty operative "Katie."

I kind of went to a stimulus party last weekend. It was a friend's birthday, so we were hanging out at his house before dinner. Everyone talked about how they couldn't find a job, were scared they would lose their job, or had to hold on to a job that sucked ass because there was nothing else out there. Then we moved on to how much we hated the Republicans right now, because some of us work in industries that would directly benefit if Obama's stimulus package passed.

Finally we went out to get drunk, but none of us did because we didn't have enough money for decent booze, so we ended up drink $2 PBRs all night.


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