The Sound Of Them Sucking: Liveblogging New Hampshire

Time to switch to constant sorrow, as we live-blog the idiot speeches, the dumb commentary, the pointless analysis, and the sad cheers of Mormons pretending to be drunk and happy as they watch their god, Mitt Romney, try to pretend he has human emotions. In other words, it's Live Blogging Time!

8:50 PM -- Wow, Mitt, is New Hampshire really the "hope of the Earth"?

8:51 PM -- Oh wait, now Mitt says "This is the greatest nation on earth -- not just because of our beautiful landscape." Then for what? Certainly not the people ....

8:53 PM -- Huckabee has gone from sixth place in Iowa to first place in Iowa to third place in New Hampshire. It's a surge!

8:59 PM -- Huckabee is quoting John McCain, what?

9:00 PM -- Uh oh, some of Huckabee's volunteers killed some people in New Hampshire. When spring comes, we'll finally have some answers.

9:02 PM -- Huck and his wife Janet are threatening to spay everyone. See, we really don't need Judy Giuliani for anything!

9:03 PM -- Wonkette videographer Liz Glover reports via Blackberry: "Getting into the Obama victory rally was like trying to get in to Bungalow 8 on a sat night circa 2004. 1/2 of the press won't be able to get in and will be relegated 2 the filing room. I squeezed by bc I said I was the vid producer for wonkette/gm and the guy workin the door is a fan. Whew!"

9:04 PM -- Hey, even you cold-blooded Episcopalian snow people have a heart of sorts, according to Huckabee.

9:06 PM -- Yes, Reverend Mike, when you lose this bad and this early, you can pretty much go to bed early.

9:08 PM -- But what does Ice Cube think about Obama's prospects?

9:19 PM -- I'm live-blogging Walnuts' victory speech right here.

9:27 PM -- John Edwards is going to have to go back to doing whatever he does, at his mansion.

9:27 PM -- 42% of the Dem precincts reporting now, still no great answer to the great Barry vs. Hil war.

9:28 PM -- Back to MSNBC after a short dumb tour of Fox News and CNN, where the "best political team on television" is not so good.

9:29 PM -- What, college kids are more liberal than old people??

9:31 PM -- Hey, when Hillary's supporters see the numbers get better for her, they cheer. And when the numbers get worse ... they don't cheer. What is up with that?

9:52 PM -- Ha ha, the CNN guys are making fun of McCain because he can't comb his own hair ... you know, because he was tortured by the Viet Cong for years. Loser!

10:55 PM -- Sorry, we've been updating several thousand other posts. Obama is talking! Can you believe his Personal Journey?


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