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The State Department Now Responding To 'HILLARY VP???" Questions With Poetry

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Is this a Hillary picture?The very serious "DUMP BIDEN 4 HILLARY?" speculation that our pal Ed Henry questioned the White House press secretary about yesterday got a real kick today when author Ed Klein, who's right up there with World Net Daily in terms of credibility, reported (/talked to his own butt) that Hillary Clinton rejected the vice presidency two weeks ago. The Weekly Standard went seeking confirmation and got a nice little poem from one of Clinton's aides in response.


But the secretary of state's staff is denying that this reported lunch between Clinton and top Obama aide Valerie Jarrett even took place, ever.

In an email from a State Department spokesman to THE WEEKLY STANDARD, Philippe Reines, a longtime Clinton confidant, channels his inner Dr. Seuss to shoot down the report:

"This did not happen

"They did not have lunch

"They did not have any meal

"They did not meet this month

"They did not meet last month

"They did not meet in 2012

"They did not meet in 2011, 2010, 2009

"This is not happening

"Truth is that Ed Klein is an idiot with not a shred of credibility

"Truth is that Ed Klein's motto is 'If at first you don't succeed, lie lie again.'"

National Security Council spokesperson Tommy Vietor added, "Happening now in Dan’s cubicle: (It is a video called "Beating a Dead Horse.") Weekly Standard scribe Daniel Halper mused that Vietor may have been referring to the cubicle of White House communications director Dan Pfeiffer, after which Vietor told Halper, "By the way, I was definitely referring to your cubicle."

These Democrats are the meanest sort of people. Why can't they make Hillary Clinton vice president right now just to get the conservative media off their backs?

[Weekly Standard]

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OK everyone, hello! It was a really shitty week with Trump's BABY JAILS and whatnot, right? And we cried and we cried, but then we got MAD. Are you MAD BRO? Because this shit is not going to stand and we are more fired up than ever to make things better, to register people to vote, to pick them up in our car so they can go vote, and also all the other stuff too. BRB TAKING OUR COUNTRY BACK NOW. That is how we are right now! So are you! Start by marching with Wonkette next week!

Also, please look above, as that is a picture of Wonkette toddler getting SWIMMING LESSONS. Isn't that the greatest?

OK, we are continuing our tradition of making the top ten post even shorter than ever before, because gotta get on the road and go to Nashville BRB GOING TO NASHVILLE NOW.

Stories chosen by Beyoncé, as per usual:

1. Why Are You Peeing On Yourself, Donald Trump, Jr.? (ALLEGEDLY)

2. Ann Coulter's America Will Die if Baby Jails Go Away, So That's Something!

3. Yes, Trump Is Stealing Children. But You Can DO Something.

4. Baby Jails? Goddamn Motherfucking BABY JAILS?

5. Trump's 500 Days Of Bummer

6. The 987,386 Most Fucked Up Lies Our Shithead President Told This Morning

7. Happy Father's Day, Roger Stone! YOU ARE THE COLLUSION!

8. Michael Cohen Slams Baby Jails On His Way To Grownup Jail

9. Awwwww Rudy Giuliani, YOU FUCKING SCARED?

10. Trump Foundation Fuckery? WHO KNEW!

So there you go. Those are your top ten most clicked upon stories, according to Beyoncé. They are very good stories!

OH HEY, one more thing. Know how Wonkette is fully funded by readers like you, and that's how we have salaries and servers and healthcare and liquor? If you want Wonkette to be here FOREVER, you gotta help us out, so won't you click here to do a $10 donation, or even better, a monthly subscription? WE LOVE YOU, YOU PAY OUR RENT.

Let's see ... anything else? Nope, BYE.

Yours in baby Jesus,

Wonkette

Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

Wonkette salaries and servers are fully paid for by YOU! Please pay our salaries.

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The great journalists at the National Enquirer regularly sent advance digital copies of stories about Donald Trump and his political opponents to Michael Cohen, according to a story in the Washington Post, which cited "three people with knowledge of the matter" as sources. Probably Trump was one of them, you know how he is.

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