The Time Has Come To Ponder Bill Kristol's Future


For the past year, the liberal New York Times has published a comical fraud letter every Monday from its "lightning rod conservative" columnist, the Republican party operative Bill Kristol. This has provided your Wonkette with many posts! We were planning on ignoring him late last year, until the Times' opinion editor challenged us by calling Kristol a "serious, respected conservative intellectual" and us "intolerant." Not only is the first half of that wrong, but Kristol doesn't even care about his column! So will he keep it for another year? The douche himself speaks!

The Conde Nast Portfolio news publication caught up with Kristol at some thing and asked about his future at the Times. Clearly it weighs heavily on his mind, this decision about whether to keep his 750-words in the most-read opinion market on the planet:

"I don't think I've had that conversation yet," he told me.

Okay -- but would he like to have it renewed? "I'm ambivalent. It's been fun. It's a lot of work. I have a lot of things going on. But I haven't really focused on it."

Kristol said he planned to talk to Andy Rosenthal, the Times's editorial-page editor, "soon."

Ha ha, he doesn't give a hoot. He cares about nothing more than getting Republicans elected (as we all do!) This is mostly what George Packer has to say in a thorough take-down at the elitist caviar-financed New Yorker magazine:

The real grounds for firing Kristol are that he didn’t take his column seriously. In his year on the Op-Ed page, not one memorable sentence, not one provocative thought, not one valuable piece of information appeared under his name. The prose was so limp (“Who, inquiring minds want to know, is going to spare us a first Obama term?”) that you had the sense Kristol wrote his column during the commercial breaks of his gig on Fox News Sunday and gave it about the same amount of thought.


The degeneration of the conservative movement from William F. Buckley and Milton Friedman to Sean Hannity and Sarah Palin is a subject that will require more than one book (Mark Lilla got a start in this fine Wall Street Journal column). Kristol’s performance on the Op-Ed page during the most interesting election in a generation is a historical symptom, not merely a personal failure. He wrote badly because his world view had become problematic at best, untenable at worst, and he had spent too many years turning out Party propaganda to summon the intellectual resources that a difficult situation required.

Another interesting thing about Bill Kristol is that he is much shorter and fatter in real life. Your Wonkette saw him in New Hampshire and St. Paul and were like, "Whoa hey this guy is much shorter and fatter in real life." And that's fine! But he doesn't really look short or fat on teevee, know? Oh and in St. Paul, he was walking behind Jonah Goldberg -- who is a 7-foot, 300-pound goateed spittle monster -- and Jonah Goldberg had worse press access than us. The Republican Convention! Jonah! Son of Lucianne! So he should also be fired from whichever Times op-ed page he writes for. Los Angeles Times? Yes, that one.

Kristol 'Ambivalent' About Keeping 'Times' Column [Portfolio]

After Kristol [New Yorker]

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We know, the thing we said in our headline is a thing you can say every day, but it's really intense today, maybe because Donald Trump is now filled with fear of the inescapable reality that millions of Americans who have not read the Mueller Report are going to see Robert Mueller testify on live TV on July 17, and Donald Trump will be exposed. Maybe the Big Mac vending machine next to his golden toilet is on the fritz and he hasn't had gotten to eat a Big Mac on the poop chair since last night. Maybe he's just a weak and sad person, a collection of shithole cells God meant to throw in the garbage, but accidentally implanted in Mary Trump's turkey incubator. We imagine that'd lead to a pretty constant state of anxiety and ennui.

Whatever it is, he's totally fucked right now. We were going to write a nice post about Trump's batshit interview on Fox Business with Maria Bartiromo, but we were busy, and by the time we got to it, he had performed so many batshit feats that we're just going to stick them all in this one post.

Let's start with the fight he's trying to wage with US soccer star Megan Rapinoe, who in a now-viral video stated that she has no fuckin' interest in going to the White House to meet that idiot. He got into a quarrel with her on Twitter ... or at least with a Twitter account that didn't belong to her. It's now been replaced, in order that the adult president may shit-tweet at the soccer superstar who hurt his feelings, but Splinter grabbed the original:

The rant continued:

Right. And Megan Rapinoe just said win or lose, she has no interest in meeting your crusty ass, because no decent American would consider that an honor.

Besides, she has already been to the White House to meet a legitimately elected president:

By the by, the owner of the incorrect Megan Rapinoe account saw Trump's whining and told him to grow a dick and set it on fire:

Ya burnt!

But as we said, it was a whole day of batshit from Trump, so let's continue.

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DING DONG THE WITCH IS ... quite likely to land on her feet. But for today, the New York Times reports Dana Loesch is out of a job, the latest casualty in the war between the NRA and its longtime advertising company Ackerman McQueen. But every cloud has a silver bullet lining, since Dana will have more free time now to spend on her favorite hobby. We can't wait to see which cartoon character she photoshops Klan hoods onto next. Maybe she'll branch out and start putting Nazi armbands onto Buzz Lightyear. Oh, we would be so triggered!

As one of the most visible characters on NRATV with literal hundreds of viewers for each of her fascist rants, Dana Loesch was a tireless advocate for the gunhumpers lobby, always ready to call out "tragedy dry-humping whores," threatening to "fist" or perhaps "fisk" the New York Times, and expressing her hope that the Mueller Report would die in an "AIDS fire."

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