The Vanishing Congressman
Maybe Jim Gibbons has a future doing magic tricks at one of those big Vegas showrooms.
Ever since his October 13 booze party became the biggest political story in Nevada -- a waitress claimed he slapped her around when she refused to go back to the hotel with him -- the GOP congressman and gubernatorial candidate has repeatedly sworn he simply walked the drunk gal to her truck so she could safely drive home. This happened in a parking garage, according to Gibbons.
For two weeks, we've waited for the security-camera video that would prove Gibbons was simply being a gentleman by escorting a lady to her vehicle (because she was too loaded to find it herself) and then immediately abandoning her once she stumbled and fell down. This is what a gentleman does, and the surveillance footage would've made everything clear.
Now the tapes have mysteriously been found -- it only took 16 days! -- and there's no sign of Gibbons. That's simply because he has the ability to disappear. There's no sign of Mazzeo, either. That's because he is a Master of Illusion! Remember, the cops first claimed that the security cameras weren't functioning at all, which only proves that Gibbons also has the ability to go back in time and repair the malfunctioning cameras.
Sadly, Gibbons is unable to go back in time far enough to erase evidence of his illegal-alien housekeeper that he hid in the basement.
PARKING GARAGE ALLEGATIONS: Mazzeo to press ahead [Las Vegas Review Journal]