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The Video-Game Version of the Election

Steven Johnson,run away! run away! in Slate, asks the question no one else dared to ask: Where's the video game version of the 2004 presidential campaign? Couldn't you just hit yourself for overlooking that vital component of modern elections?


No, really, Johnson tries his best to make this sound like it wouldn't be the video game equivalent of counting chads, but he's going in the wrong direction by imagining the game as a version of the "Sims." I mean, have you looked into General Clark's eyes lately? Fuck the simulated political campaign idea, a game based on this race should be a first-person shooter! Howard Dean (the Hulk) battles an evil robot with laser-shooting eyes, Clark, and his android companion, Madonna! J-Lo is the dishy babe whose magic voter registration drive ad could win the war for either side.

"Campaign 2004: The Rise of the Machines"

SimCandidate [Slate]

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photo by Dominic Gwinn

There was a time, a few months ago, when everyone had written off Elizabeth Warren. Well, not me, because I am a fabulous genius, but lots of other people. The "very reasonable" talking heads on all the various news channels, the kind of people who used to say things like "Oh, we'd like universal health care too, but 'the people' will never go for it!" but who definitely did not actually want universal health care for any reason, and even the Trump campaign. Though, to be fair, the Trump campaign didn't think Trump had much of a chance of winning in 2016 either.

But now, as more and more people hear her speak, hear her plans, hear what she wants to do and how she wants to do it... Elizabeth Warren is rising up in the polls. She's a contender. In the most recent Quinnipiac poll, she was closing in on Sanders for second place nationally, and in California and Nevada polls, she's in second place.

And now, according to a report from Politico, the Trump campaign is now scrambling and panicking and... stalking her?

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Spinal Tap - Gimme Some Money

Some dick is suing your Wonkette! If you are able, will you please send money?

1. Pick "just once" or "monthly."

2. Pick an amount, like say "all of the money."

3. Click "paypal" if you are paypal or "stripe" if you are not paypal.

4. MONEY.

5. Carry on with your day, and with new posts below!

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