The War on Boxing Day!
Godless liberals have declared war on Boxing Day, the beloved post-Christmas hangover celebrated in the UK and all the colonies that were too lazy to take up arms against them. In Canada, Boxing Day is a day of charity... and great savings! Stores across the frozen north open their doors and slash their prices, and everyone in Canada briefly forgets the unceasing misery of their gray, bland lives.
But some guys don't like to help Canadians shop the pain away. Some guys forget that Canada is a Christian Nation, and Christian Nations know a deal when they see one.
Learn about these Boxing Day Warriors, after the jump.
The Canada so-called "Free Press" wants to destroy Boxing Day and put up a big pentagram on City Property or something.
If Canada is to survive and ultimately become a nation like Quebec is, there can be no alternative but to ban Boxing Day sales that are directly related to the Christian holiday of Christmas.
Boxing Day is also under fire in Hobbit Town -- could Wales be next?
Meanwhile, in some backwater Midwestern burg, a local newspaper calls for this probably UnAmerican Boxing Day thing to be imported to America. But this suggestion comes from Minnesota, which is just Canada but with Prince.
Boxing Day Sales Should Be Banned! [Free Press]
Boxing Day Sales Upset Some [Stuff.co.nz]