Below, a small sampling of our favorite comments left this week. Well, maybe not our favorites, but they seemed like most of the words were spelled correctly and we just need to get out of the apartment while it's still fucking nice outside. Want to join the party? Find out how here.

* "Sens. John Edwards and Jack Kemp, TOGETHER. Man, it's like Clapton and Page." It's not Clapton and Page. It's more like the lesser halves of famous rock duos. It's Art Garfunkel and John Oates, TOGETHER. What the hell was the name of that other guy in WHAM!? Also, I don't think Kemp was ever a senator.

* Actually, I think the Ankh was just a general symbol of life for the Egyptians, and not gender specific. I think the pic means: "You can buy a woman in South Dakota for a pound of sugar."

* It is always funny to really look at how crazy that paper's headlines are. "GOP's Bill Thomas announces retirement. No tears likely from Democrats." That's sad, because just last week I remember this headline: "Dem Pelosi decides to step down. Republicans plead for her to reconsider. Delay: 'She will be missed.'"

* Tom Delay is a man made of iron and braun and polysynthetic fake hairpieces, the type of guy who, when you stab him in the gut, grabs your hand at the dagger hilt, pulls himself toward you and thrusts the knife in further, snarling, "That all you got...pussy?" He's a man's man's man, baby, and when he sees the inside of that federal courthouse, he's gonna go all Jack Nicholson and be all like "What kinda outfit you running here, Colonel?" when the lawyers get into sidebar scuffles and whatnot. No one in a suit gets called the hammer unless he's got the blood of innocents on his meatpaws, sugar, and don't you forget it. On the other hand, the guy is also an enormous douchebag.

* After sex, does Cafferty smoke cigarettes or cigars, and while doing so, does Blitzer weep or do push-ups? These are pressing questions, people.

* Wow, Wonkette saved David Gregory! Free drunken phone calls to Imus for everyone!!!!

* You guys didn't hear it from me, but Halperin's posse's gunning for you. I mean, shit, Dan Nechita's carrying a fucking trident!

And hey, save time by just skipping the posts and doing straight to the responses with the Wonkette Comments RSS reed! You didn't ask for it, but here it is!


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