The Wheels On The Deportation Bus Go Round And Round
He's as excited to catch immigrants as Paul Ryan is to starve babies
Anybody liking this new thing where ICE can snatch up your spouse at the interview where you are complying with regulations and trying to get your green card so you can live with your family? How about a spanking new deportation bus driven by a candidate for Georgia governor? No? Well, too bad. It’s a thing now, get used to it.
Reminiscent of slave catchers of old (it’s not the same exact thing, more like an echo, just go with it, okay), Republicans these days are taking to the old dusty roads in the heart of Dixie to try to catch some “illegals” to deport. Not only is this an asshole move, it actually makes no sense since people can clearly see the bus coming and will have plenty of time to slowly walk away and go home. Nobody ever accused the GOP of educated elitism, and we are unlikely to start now in light of this new nonsense, and also, they spelled molester wrong. Yeah, they put “molestor,” because “Roy Moore” would ruin the theme.
Michael Williams, who was Georgia state co-chair for the Donald Trump campaign, is kicking off his deportation tour that seeks to round up the worst of the worst, except not really, because he is leaving many “very fine people” right there in Georgia.
Here is who he says he will target:
Murderers, rapists, kidnappers, child molestors, and other criminals on board.
Can we deport the entire GOP? Who will take them in?
Clarkson, Decatur, and Athens are all planned stops on this tour of stupid and Williams did not respond to the requests for him to explain exactly how they plan to round people up. Is he planning on slapping cuffs on random dark people? Will ICE be joining him on this tour? It’s unknown by what authority he plans on snatching people up and forcing them on his bus, but it actually sounds like kidnapping. Perhaps he should “self deport” to STFULand and mind his own business before someone gets hurt.
Not to be outdone by lame ass state senators like Michael Williams, ICE officials are pressing their luck and fucking with married couples by snatching up spouses at ICE interviews. Five married couples who live in Rhode Island and Massachusetts found themselves knee deep in unmitigated bullshit after ICE officials took spouses into custody, regardless of the fact that spouses of citizens are supposed to be able to apply for legal status. But with the recent crackdown by the Trump Administration, ICE officials are now violating the government’s own policies by detaining spouses and intended spouses of American citizens.
Two mothers, Lucimar De Souza and Lilian Calderon, faced an impossible situation: Either show up at scheduled interviews with ICE officials to work on their legal status, or remain in the shadows. Both women decided to show up, even in the face of new priorities set by the Trump administration pushing the policy of deporting anyone convicted or charged with any crime -- which now includes "being undocumented." Because, Trump is a fucking asshole, and always will be. Thank goodness for the ACLU, though. Their involvement has helped families keep hope alive, which is good, because the world is harsh as fuck.
Calderon was released after a month, but De Souza faced a tougher battle. Married to her husband since 2006, with a child they actually had with each other, De Souza was obligated to show up and prove she was not in a “sham marriage” in order to get her status changed. Because apparently, ICE officials are ignorant of how sex works, don’t know how marriage works, and probably watch too many movies. De Souza had been ordered removed from the country previous to her marriage, but still showed up to the marriage interview with ICE officials. In 2016 USCIS policy had been changed to allow spouses who had previously been ordered removed to stay while waiting on their applications to process. This conflict between department policy and Trumpian bullshit is putting people in limbo. Let the Boston Globe explain:
A Brazilian national who crossed the southern border illegally in 2002, she had been trying to attain legal permanent status in the United States through her husband, Sergio Francisco, an American citizen who she married in 2006. On Jan. 30, she and Francisco went to John F. Kennedy Federal Building Government Center and met with officials of US Citizenship and Immigration Services who told her the government had deemed her marriage legitimate and she could proceed with her visa application.
Moments later, the 49-year-old housekeeper said she was arrested by five officers from Immigration and Customs Enforcement and taken to jail. De Souza, who also has two older daughters, is among at least 14 immigrants in Massachusetts, Connecticut, and Rhode Island who had already applied for permanent residency when they were detained by ICE.
Unfortunately for the ICE officials who rounded up the spouses of American citizens, the judge found that they had violated the government's own policies and ordered De Souza to be released from custody -- after 99 days in ICE jail. Senior Judge Mark L. Wolf also found that her due process rights had been violated when the department neglected to send notices to the lawyers of detainees. Which just goes to show that you cannot fucking trust anybody in the Trump administration to follow the fucking rules. Even if it's their job to enforce the rules. Nobody knows WTF they're doing. They just do stuff.
So, if you get a notification in the mail telling you to show up for an ICE meeting because you just got married and need to prove it's the real deal, be prepared to spend a few months "on vacation." ICE does not give the first shit what the rules tell THEM to do, rules only apply to Mexicans (anyone from Central or South America) and black people and the poors. Not to important people in the government. Also, if you see the deportation bus, act like you just saw black people firing up a charcoal grill in a public park. Call the police, that shit is not legal, you can't just paint a bus and start rounding people up, it's deplorable.
Wonderbitch aka Bravenak aka Bianca DeLaRosa, loves her jobs as Social Media Manager for Wonkette more than Sarah Huckabee Sanders loves lying to America. Bianca also moonlights as a Witch (THE BAD KIND!!) and is a Freelance Goddess of All Things Ever. Be very nice her because she likes to curse people, especially mean people. You can find Bianca on Twitter @biancadelarosa8 or email her at email@example.com