The Wonked-Out Brains Of Santa Fe
We are really really sorry Albuquerque that we did not stop in and buy you beers. HOWEVER. Skipping you in favor of Santa Fe seems to have been the correct choice. Did you know everyone there is beautiful? Are YOU beautiful? Then perhaps you should shut your whineholes. (Speaking of whineholes, the nipples above belong to Miss Lisa Wines. You are welcome, America.) Probably 25 wonkdaddies and their Special Ladies arrived at Del Charro to let us buy them margaritas and platters of fried things. IndiePalin and DahBoner were there! Many lurkers were there! A guy who used to work for Bill Richardson was there, and invited us to stop into his girlfriend's family's Greek restaurant once we get to Chicago, where, he assured us, once we drop her name we will be such honored princesses, they will burn a Turk for us right there on the table! Now let's see some Hot Pixxx.
Here I am telling a story about THE WORLD'S ANGRIEST LESBIAN, who had just yelled at us out front to SMOKE REAL FUCKING CIGARETTES because TOBACCO FARMERS ARE THE ONLY FARMERS LEFT IN AMERICA, FUCK YOU, and then she stomped down the street like an Angry Lesbian Godzilla. It was a good story! The Mark Twain-looking motherfucker behind me is my son's grandpa, and the elegant Martha Stewart-looking lady is Jennifer, whom he is VERY LUCKY to have married.
Here is a Mystery Person! Perhaps he will identify himself in the comments! (Hint: he might hold the all-time Wonk record for negative Pee, because he likes to play at Ghost Andrew Breitbart's Internet Crypt.)
This is Feral Harold, he is awesome and spends a lot of time talking about Rupert Murdoch, for whom he simply does not care!
Look at all the beautiful people!
Previously, on the Wonky Tour: Phoenix.
Next up, Schlafly Tap Room in St. Louis, MO, on Monday. (We understand it is actually owned by Phyllis Schlafly's nephew or something, so we say cackle cackle cackle fuck yeah.) See our updated itinerary here! (We have made plans as far as Madison and Chicago. We will figure out Minneapolis soon, and whoever said in the comments to come to his bar in Lawrence: you betcha!)
Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.