Donate

There Will Be Tea: Liveblogging America's Return To Slavery, Part IV

News

Is this still happening? Has Rand Paul bankrupted America and outlawed blogging yet? We're entering HOUR FOUR of this teabagstravaganza, and we're still weeping for the loss of Our Christine ("You") because comedy is going to be in short supply, forever, and she was our queen! Well whatever. At least John McCain won his easy-ass had-it-forever Senate seat, so ol' Walnuts will still be around to yell at clouds.


10:06 PM -- A House loss is still just "likely," after all this ruckus?

10:08 PM -- And what exactly is lost, should the GOP/TeaPee take over the House again? What are they going to do to "get back" at the Democrats, pass a bunch of environmental legislation and climate change legislation and stop the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq?

10:12 PM -- Haw Haw, Michele Bachmann is on MSNBC talking to Chris Matthews. It is wonderful. She is dressed wonderfully. Matthews wants to know if Michele will investigate all the Democrats for un-American activities.

10:13 PM -- She won't answer! She just says "the economy is job one." So, presumably, Job Two is investigating Democrats for un-American attitudes.

10:14 PM -- Her smile is 1,00,000 watts of coal-fired happiness. (She will not answer his question at all.)

10:15 PM -- Christ Matthews just asked if Michele Bachmann is hypnotized.

10:16 PM -- Har har, Michele just mocked Chris Matthews for his "tingle down the leg" comment about Obama.

10:17 PM -- Now Matthews is actually having to explain his 2008 excitement about Obama; he is sticking to the anti-American investigations Bachmann has said (on his show) that she would lead.

10:17 PM -- "She just moronically looks at the camera." -- Chris Matthews, who is correct!

10:18 PM -- Do not miss PART III (the one where Jar Jar gets raped/killed) of our Liveblogging, which is here.

10:19 PM -- Eric Cantor, Washington politician, is telling MSNBC that America has spoken against Washington.

10:20 PM -- The Twitter flow of gibberish is subsiding, at least from the Washington Media/Political People we follow. Did everybody just get high and go to bed?

10:23 PM -- Geraldine Ferraro and Sarah Palin live on Fox News, together, for some reason!!!!

10:23 PM -- Why? Because both share a forbidden love of "Fritz" Mondale.

10:25 PM -- The hair on Palin is IMMENSE. Never seen that much hair. Her neck can barely hold it up.

10:26 PM -- Ferraro ... we fell kind of bad for not knowing she was still alive. She seems to be fine!

10:26 PM -- Sestak-Toomey still too close to call?

10:26 PM -- It's getting terrible now. Eric Cantor won't leave MSNBC, Bill Bennett has eaten all of his co-panelists.

10:30 PM -- We need some Conventional Wisdom to make it through this Long Night of the Soul. Let's go check the New York Times!

10:31 PM -- "Republicans See Big Gains in House: Tea Party Propels G.O.P. in Senate, but Democrats Are Ahead in Key States"

10:32 PM -- Uhh.

10:33 PM -- Sestak holding a 29,000 vote lead with 72% reporting.

10:33 PM -- Does Campbell Brown sit sadly tonight, drinking scotch and cursing at CNN? What about Aaron ... Brown? Was that his name? Dan Rather was jabbering nonsense on one station or another earlier today, so he's happy we suppose.

10:35 PM -- Nikki Haley wins! Despite the "slut shaming" by Gawker.

10:38 PM -- Russ Feingold officially loses.

10:38 PM -- This means four Senate pickups for the GOP, 45-2-43 at the moment. (Meaning, "47 including the two independents who are sorta Dems.")

10:40 PM -- But the states with all the people and money (the "liberal elite states") are still pretty heavy wins for the Democrats. (Florida had people, but no money.)

10:43 PM -- Just 18 minutes until the California polls close. Jesus god this has only begun, hasn't it?

10:45 PM -- Using his usual "people can be divided up into tenths, like dimes" methodology, Nate Silver predicts 51.6 Senate seats for the Dems and 48.3 for the Republicans.

10:47 PM -- And the House will go to the GOP, 232.2-202.8. The end.

10:51 PM -- Andrew Cuomo somehow defeated America's Greatest Governor, Carl watermelon-email guy!

11:01 PM -- New liveblog by that Jack guy, look! Polls have closed in California! Yahaghghgh!

$
Donate with CC

Oh hi! Michael Cohen is going to jail, because he is guilty! Just like Paul Manafort is guilty and GO THE FUCK TO JAIL! WHERE HE ALREADY WAS! (Read up on that here!) And all this news came out in the same hour, somehow, because we live in the dumbest fucking episode of "Law & Order" Dick Wolf ever threw on the cutting room floor, on account of how it was too stupid for words.

However, Cohen avoided a big nasty trial (or series of trials, like Manafort opted for) by just cold pleading guilty to a buncha fuckin' crimes, like a crimer who does a buncha fuckin' crimes all the time. And he implicated Donald Trump in a couple of them!

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC

HOLY FUCK this afternoon! Michael Cohen just finished a hearing in a New York courtroom where he said, "DURRRR I AM SO GUILTY," but this post is not about that. This post is about how Paul Manafort verdict has just come out! He has been found guilty on eight of the 18 charges he faced in the Eastern District of Virginia (EDVA). The jury is hopelessly deadlocked on the other 10, and so a mistrial will be declared on those and Paul Manafort may get to be retried on them, in addition to his next trial over conspiracies against the United States and witness tampering, which starts next month in Washington DC. Maybe the government will decide Manafort is going to die in jail anyway, and play hooky from retrying those other counts. They probably need a vacay, don't you think?

Trump really does hire the best people!

NBC News's Ken Dilanian broke the news that Manafort has been convicted on five counts of tax fraud, one count of failing to report a foreign bank account on an IRS form, and two charges of bank fraud. The short version of that is that he is guilty of EIGHT FEDERAL FELONIES (so far) and he is going to jail for EIGHT MILLION YEARS for each count. (OK, that is probably not completely accurate. But still, welcome to prison, Paul Manafort!)

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC
Donate

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

  • Saturday, Aug 11th ....... Seattle, WA
    Discovery Park, 4-7pm
  • Sunday, Aug 12th ....... Bellingham, WA
    Sunnyland Park, 2-5pm
  • Sunday, Aug 19th ....... Spokane, WA
    Audubon Park, 2-5pm

Read More

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc