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Paul Ryan was asked today whether, like some top Republicans, he might have any nagging doubts about EPA administrator Scott Pruitt's ability to keep wrecking the environment. You know, anything at all that might lead him to think Pruitt should leave office, maybe a lot later this year, perhaps after the summer beach-oiling season. Here, enjoy his puzzled reply, in which he appears to channel Al Sleet, the Hippy-Dippy Weatherman, only without the funny parts:



Prew-witt, you say? Doesn't really ring a bell. You certainly can't expect the Speaker of the House to stay on top of every last little made-up "controversy" in the world, now can you?

We bet, if we try really hard, we could come up with some other things that Paul Ryan does not know. Especially since listicles look right nice with our new platform!

The End! Oh, also, Paul Ryan is thoroughly unaware that the best, most comprehensively fact-checked listicles and dick joketicles can be found right here at Yr Wonkette, and that we love our readers very much for helping us pay the bills!

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Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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There could still be a partial shutdown of the government starting Saturday if Congress doesn't pass a budget bill in time, but at least Donald Trump has caved, yet again, on what last week he insisted was absolutely completely necessary to keep the government open. You might remember it -- dude said he'd be PROUD to shut down the government and take credit for it if he didn't get $5 billion to build the thing. Today, he's more like MEH, what wall, he can fund it some other way, maybe, honestly, who cares, it's time for golf, isn't it? Whatever his thinking, Trump has dropped the wall-funding ultimatum, though there's still no budget deal, because congressional Democrats aren't about to take Mitch McConnell's crappy alternative offer, either.

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December 18. One week before Christmas. In a normal and just and sane world, the news cycle would be dying and we'd be decking the halls and trying to find dumb things to write about just to make YOU DINGBATS happy. (Christmas week in 2015 we wrote about an idiot rightwing Christian extremist named Bryan Fischer, who thinks dinosaurs in the Bible were really just VERY OLD GRANDMA BIBLE LIZARDS.) But alas, Barack Obama is no longer president, so the shitshow continues.

Donald Trump is, of course, about to head off on vacation, from his ... paid vacation in Washington. Basically he's just transferring his voluminous ass to a different gold-plated toilet so he can do his Twitter-shits in a sunnier climate. Regardless, Gabe Sherman reports that the White House is on edge, because OH SHIT, PRESIDENT TINKLE SMELLS WILL BE WITHOUT AN ADULT CHAPERONE FOR TWO WEEKS, THIS IS VERY, VERY BAD.

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