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Thinkers Declare All Good Things To Be Unconstitutional

Wonkabout

Monday, December 7: A never before seen event: a Democrat will say mean things about Republicans, today, in real life. House Majority Leader Steny Hoyer will explain why he thinks Conservatives are to blame for every single problem in America. [Center for American Progress Action Fund]


  • Tuesday, December 8: Perhaps too excited for the future, The Brookings Institution looks at teleportation and hovercrafts as possible forms of alternative transportation. [Brookings Institution]
  • Wednesday, December 9: The US Institute of Peace asks thousands of questions about how to engage with Somalia, as it seems that no one has ever asked any questions about the lost country except for, "Why do you keep stealing people?" [US Institute of Peace]
  • Wednesday, December 9: Congress can't make everyone buy a Buick, so naturally requiring everyone to have health insurance is wrong, evil, terrible, and unconstitutional. Such is health care reform according to the Heritage Foundation. [Heritage Foundation]
  • Wednesday, December 9: The CATO Institute tells Latin America to be more American than Latin if it ever wants to be a viable part of the West. [Cato Institute]
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Lace up your sneakers, Wonkers! Time to hit the streets. MoveOn, the ACLU, MomsRising and all your favorite dirty leftists are getting together for a yuuuuuuuuge march to show that WE ARE A NATION OF DECENT FUCKING HUMAN BEINGS WHO DON'T KIDNAP BABIES. And your Wonkette will be there!

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Rudy Giuliani, flapping his loose yap to Politico on Monday:

President Donald Trump's attorney Rudy Giuliani said on Monday that he was actually just bluffing last week when he called for Justice Department leaders to suspend special counsel Robert Mueller's investigation within 24 hours.

"I didn't think it would," Giuliani told POLITICO with a laugh when asked about the Mueller inquiry's still being very much an active investigation. "But I still think it should be." [...]

That's what I'm supposed to do," Giuliani explained on Monday. "What am I supposed to say? That they should investigate him forever? Sorry, I'm not a sucker."

Cool, that is just Rudy Giuliani admitting he's full of shit and words and more shit and more words (and also a noun, a verb and 9/11). We are guessing therefore that Giuliani, who is a lawyer, would legally advise us to continue assuming we should take his every oral ejaculation with a gi-normous grain of FULL OF SHIT.

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