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  • Wednesday, June 17: Feeling oddly confident that Cheney won’t be vindicated by a catastrophic terror attack before Independence Day? Well that’s because it’s "Protect America Month," at least according to the Heritage Foundation. (And no, we don’t think they're referring to increasing funding for sex education). Start your Think Tank Week on Wednesday at 10:30AM when Heritage assesses the geopolitical landscape (yes, the whole thing) and offers expert advice on how we can keep this fine nation safe. Get your rifles ready, because we’re only a few weeks away from "bend over for terrorists month."

  • Wednesday, June 17: The Center for American Progress, ever eager to indulge guilty liberals, is upset that the United States holds other nations to tough human rights standards even though shit ain’t perfect here. CAP has declared it unsafe to care about human rights abroad without being above reproach at home. (They seem to be unaware that June is the safest month of the year.) The fix? Change the international human rights framework in order to create "sustainable security" -- either all the other securities were taken, or CAP really likes alliteration. Hear about this breathtaking new concept, Wednesday at noon.
  • Wednesday, June 17: There’s nothing better than a bunch of libertarians deciding how to fix health care -- Got Pigs AIDS? Your fault! Get well soon! XOXO Ron Paul -- but the Cato Institute is inviting YOU to take part in the madness at their all day health care reform conference on Wednesday. And what health care conversation would be complete without resident McCain-loving jackass, Doug Holtz-Eakin, fixating on the free market as the only solution to the health care crisis.
  • Friday, June 19: Clinton had it almost all right -- and we’re not talking his better half or the fact that he was at one point able to influence politics .… too soon? No, Clinton almost had it right when it came to welfare reform. Silly guy forgot that asset building and savings are just as important components of welfare reform as is monetary assistance! The New America Foundation discusses how to truly lift people our of poverty at their event on Friday at 12:15PM. Heads up: Don’t come hungry. New America is notorious for only serving cookies at their lunchtime events.
  • Friday, June 19: We were surprised to learn that grassroots activism is alive and well in Cuba. What exactly this constitutes other than advocating for what the government wants, we’re not sure, but, hey, if the OAS can love Cuba again, then so can we! CSIS takes a look at grassroots organizing in this ever evolving country Friday at 10AM. Keep up the hard work, Cuba. Before you know it, they’ll find the other people who were spying on your country too!
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