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This Chuck Norris Thing Is Oddly Legit

ric flair is seated to my rightMike Huckabee's plan to send Hillary Clinton to Mars has put him atop another poll in Iowa, where the elections for student class president of Republica will take place one month from today. He leads Mitt "Sanctuary Mansion" Romney 29% to 24% in the new Des Moines Register poll, with Rudy "Sanctuary 9/11" Giuliani at 13% and Fred "Sanctuary Dipshit McGoo" Thompson at 9%. But why is this Huckabee surging so much nowadays, beyond the fact that he's skinny and people are finally acknowledging that? Wait -- Is it actually this Chuck Norris endorsement? Is this ninja-ranger man really making teh Huckbeez teh likable?


Indeed he is, writes the Los Angeles Times, and that's because Chuck Norris is the biggest figure in the history of the Internet:

Like Norris, the charming Huckabee is a social conservative with a sense of humor and an eye for the Internet's influence. So he parlayed Norris' endorsement into a YouTube campaign commercial in which the candidate recites the fictional Chuck Norris jokes and Norris gives his substantive reasons for supporting the former Arkansas governor.

Subsequently, Huckabee has surged in the polls, particularly in Iowa, and Norris has been with him every step of the way on the campaign trail.

He sat in the second row at Wednesday's debate -- which was co-sponsored, appropriately enough, by YouTube -- and afterward gave glowing interviews about his candidate's performance. The whole thing was posted on the Internet within seconds.

And if you're to believe Newsweek's Howard Fineman, Chuck Norris is the most valuable super manly Republican supporter since Ronald Reagan and Charlton Heston. And Norris and Huckabee are making more ads! With more one-liners that completely ignore his batshit crazy FairTax plan! Gosh, that Huckabee is so cool and nice and skinny and friends with Chuck Norris; I'll let Mike Huckabee do whatever he wants as president.

Huckabee Surges to Front in New 'Des Moines Register' Poll [Editor & Publisher]

Is Chuck Norris Huckabee's secret weapon? [LAT]

Chuck Norris Boosts Huckabee [Newsweek]

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Robbin Young. Fair use so we can all see the boob picture she sent to her 12 true loves.

Robbin Young starred in the Roger Moore masterpiece For Your Eyes Only as the seventh female lead, "Girl in Flower Shop." She also starred in a bunch of Playboys, and the DM's of a humble Romanian hacker who stole her heart. But he was not a humble Romanian hacker, he was 12 Russian military intelligence officers in a trench coat. And now Young has shared those DMs and pictures of her buzzies with the Sun, because that's the one that's fookin' classy.

See how she loved! See how Guccifer ghosted her ass! See how she loves him (them) still! See how she was all up in Seth Rich and shit! (We think Young's judgment might not be awesome.) Also she wrote this "erotic poem," and we're going to need you to read it.

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