This Very Normal Pastor's Son Isn't Gay Anymore And Here's How That Happened

Gay Stuff

Here's one that's weird!

There is apparently a rightwing pastor in the Nashville area named Kent Christmas and yes that's apparently his real name and his son used to be gay but he's not gay anymore PRAISE JESUS because Kent Christmas and Kent Christmas's wife Candy Christmas — yep — prayed real hard for the boner ghosts to leave their son and the boner ghosts did leave and PRAISE JESUS and all of this is just a real story that happened.

As Hemant Mehta at the Friendly Atheist explains, Kent Christmas is virulently anti-gay, as you might imagine.

So here's the story of how that happened:


As you see in the video above, Kent Christmas's gay son was so gay he had a parking spot at the local gay dancing emporium. This is indeed how gayness is ranked, by whether or not you have a parking space at the local gay dance emporium, and how close it is to the door.

Hemant has the transcript, but apparently people are not allowed to copy/paste things from his website, so here it is in screengrab form:

Here, Dok ran that over to onlineocr.net:

My firstborn son, and his testimony is he was gay for years. And my wife and I would intercede and pray, and I kept hearing, "Well, nobody ever gets delivered from homosexuality?' Or I would hear from other believers, "Well, you know, that's just the way God made him. You just need to love him there." Or "No, he's never going to be changed." All I know was I dedicated him to the Lord for this day...

... It was quick for you, wasn't it, son? God just shows up in his house, calls me that night, he said, "Dad, you won't believe it!" He said "The Holy Ghost showed up in my house when I was getting dressed to go party at the gay club:' We had the largest gay night club, I think in several states, right downtown on Cowan Street, in the country. Josh had his own parking spot!

... And he said "The Holy Ghost showed up in my house, spoke to me, and said, 'Because of the prayers that have gone over you, I'm setting you free:" And instantly, God set my son free from homosexuality, and you saw the results today, by the power of God!


The important part, obviously, is that his son (who is apparently named Josh and, according to Hemant, has also told this very real story before) was getting ready for da club, but then the Holy Ghost busted in while he was getting dressed (that was not the Holy Ghost) and the Holy Ghost was like "YOU'RE FREE, GIRL!" and immediately Josh was not gay.

And the good reverend says the thing about his son having his own parking spot.

And the good reverend says something about how his congregants that very day were able to see the "results" of what the Holy Ghost home invader did that night while his son was getting dressed to go to da club, and no, we don't know what those "results" are, and neither does Hemant Mehta, because ain't nobody watching this whole church service to find out, so we'll all just assume there was some kind of demonstration of Joshua's super major heterosexuality and leave it at that.

The end.

[Friendly Atheist]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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