This Would Be the Weekend You're Supposed To Express Love For Your Dad


Assuming you didn't just find out that your dad has been havingunavoidable sexytime with a teevee star's ex-wife, or that your dad isn't an incompetent teen-sex model your mom just let back in the house, you should have no excuse not to spend Sunday, Father's Day, with the man whose sperm is responsible for your existence -- and who is perhaps someone you like a lot too!

Same rules apply as Mother's Day: If dad’s nearby and you actually enjoy his company, take him out to dinner. Or, if he's far away, simply eat an elaborate meal in his honor. And you should probably also promise to put your dad in a really, really nice old age home when he gets all senile and decrepit. It's the nice thing to do.

  • Cafe Dupont: According to someone, somewhere, all Dads like scotch and cigars, which is why Cafe Dupont is offering FREE hand-rolled cigars to Dads on Father's Day. They also have a pretty impressive scotch selection that we're sure your Dad will most enjoy.
  • Addies: Addie's will be smoking whole pigs, goats and lamb on a barrel smoker from 11:30AM-8:30PM on Sunday. Presuming your Dad isn't a vegetarian, this is an easy and delicious way to make him happy on his special day.
  • Westend Bistro: Should you want to relive the glory days of your youth when you and your dad built skyscrapers out of Legos, take your Dad to the Westend Bistro at the Ritz-Carlton where you can "build" your own burger and ice cream sundae. And should you need multiple alcoholic beverages to survive an afternoon with your Dad, the $49-per-person meal also comes with unlimited buckets of beer and fully-customizable Bloody Mary's.
  • Co. Co. Sala: If Dad's a fan of french toast s’mores, bacon bloody mary's and fiery passion mimosas, and say, maybe your mom wasn't quite right for him, he will no doubt very much enjoy the Father's Day brunch at Co. Co. Sala. Their multi-course brunch is $50 for adults and $30 for children.

There's always taking your Dad to a bar to watch a World Cup game, too. Whether he likes soccer or not, watching the game provides just enough interaction to make you feel like you did your Father's Day duty, and there's the added bonus of cheap alcohol. Considering the serious lack of restaurants in DC that are doing anything to mark Father's Day, this is probably your best bet.


How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)


©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc