Over in our Wonket Sekrit Chatcave, a debate is raging as to whether or not this dumbass article on Thought Catalog is satire or unvarnished dumbass or some combination thereof? We're not sure, but let's get to mocking this guy who thinks (?) free speech is threatened by muting someone on Twitter.

Yes, you might think that free speech is only a thing the government owes you, not privately owned social networking sites, but that is because you are not a Thought Catalog Constitutional Scholar and you do not like Jennifer Lawrence movies.

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