For real

Um, hi. So ... Donald Trump is our president! RUN FOR THE FUCKING HILLS!

But in the interest of the power of positive thinking, here are three nice things we can say about today:

1. Melania looked beautiful.

2. So did Ivanka. Her ensemble was badass.

3. The Trump grandchildren are cute.



All right, that's all the nice things we need to say the next four years, and now we'll go back to giving "President" Trump the respect he deserves.

And in the spirit of that meanness:

We keep seeing Trump idiots claiming his inauguration attendance sucked because all his supporters work, unlike Obama's supporters, who all turned out for his inaugurations. Um, about that? Stupid ass wingnuts never can seem to decide who these durn liberals they hate so much even are. Are we unemployed moochers, or are we elitist liberal educated coastal snooty people who look down on them because they are dumb yokels? ARE WE SOMEHOW BOTH? PLEASE 'SPLAIN.

Moreover, we thought these Trump supporters were all voting for him because they're racists of "economic anxiety" and the unemployment rate is 78% or something. How can that be true, if all the Trump supporters are busy working, unlike the champagne-sipping liberals who buy lobster with food stamps from their luxury apartments on Park Avenue?

Maybe it's just that most Americans, especially the educated ones in the productive liberal cities, hate this president. It's kind of an Occam's Razor thing.

(Hey Trump supporters, you can look up "Occam's Razor" on Ask Jeeves or Bing!)


Editrix said there was a hot guy at the Wonkette hangout in DC today who wants to sexxxxxxxxx me. Who are you? I'm single. PRESENT YOURSELF.


This is your open thread. So talk in it.

Bye fuckers.

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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'Miga and Carlos' by Wonkette Operative 'Chica'

It's Father's Day, which means it's time for Yr Dok Zoom and his son to go to brunch and check out the downtown Boise Father's Day Car Show so we can ooh and ah over the very same Corvettes 'n' Mustangs 'n' lovingly-restored classic cars that are there every year, and I will probably once again point at the '68 Beetle converted to run on electricity and say, "Oh look, a Voltswagen!" Traditions matter. (Kid Zoom is 22, so I may also/instead meet him for cocktails later like grown up human people.)

Don't worry about any deep thoughts on the Meaning of Fatherhood here -- we're just going to enjoy the goofy side of dadding, which as far as I'm concerned is the best thing I've done with my time. Especially since my role model for parenting was the unnamed Dad from "Calvin and Hobbes."

As any fool knows, ice rises to the top of liquids because it's cold, and just wants to be closer to the sun so it can warm up. It's all in the book you get when you become a father.

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Spinal Tap - Gimme Some Money

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