We thought about canceling on yinz ... wait, that is Pittsburgh. We thought about canceling on tu ustedes, but what is a little nor'easter between friends?

We will see you TONIGHT, Brooklyn, New York, at your comrade Erin's restaurant Grindhaus, 275 Van Brunt St., Red Hook, Brooklyn, we will call it 7-9 p.m. and NO LATER because apparently we have to take a ferry home. (Food is on us, your drinks are on you!)

FRIDAY! Pizza party at Pi Pizzeria, 910 F Street NW, Washington, DC 20004, 202.393.5484. Pizza and beer are on me! 6-8 p.m.!

And here is the plan for Saturday morning:

We will meet outside Rosa Mexicano, 575 Seventh St. NW, across the street from the Gallery Place Chinatown Metro Station. We (or you!) will be waiting there from 10:30 a.m. to 12:15, because -- and this is important -- last time we were an hour late to our own meeting spot because it took 90 minutes to get out of the subway. We're not mad -- getting out of the subway was one of the funnest, most energetic parts of the 2017 Women's March -- we are just saying, there will be a whole block of time when we might be late, or you might be late, or all of us might be late together. So instead of leaving without each other, we will all wait quite a while. GOT IT? GOOD! :D

NOW! For your Philadelphia party pix! The original plan was to march on Drinking Liberally and invade their party by aggressively BUYING THEM BEER. But they canceled for weather. Did YOUR WONKETTE NATION cancel for weather? THEY FUCKING DID NOT. About a dozen showed up from many miles away -- IN WEATHER -- to eat and drink and bring us presents. Let's look at them!

And for the rest of our Get Your Guns Off My Lawn 2018 Tour? Well, it's mostly not scheduled yet. But we'll get there!

Baltimore, Maryland! Holy Frijoles, 4 to 7 p.m.! Sun., March 25.

Morgantown, West Virginia! Let us wipe off the coal dust and kiss you on your FED UP faces! Mon., March 26. And then …

Lexington, Kentucky!

Definitely Indianapolis!

Looks like Kansas City!

And then Denver!

Maybe Wyoming? We got anyone in Wyoming? One guy has emailed me “I live in Wyoming.” Okay we love you bye.

Thank you for the ass, gas, and grass. And also for supporting Wonkette, which runs SOLELY on donations from YOU.

Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

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Republicans are in a pickle. Midterms are coming up and the party in the White House usually loses seats in those elections. It doesn't help their chances that their guy Donald Trump frolics through fields holding hands with self-made Russian dictator and coincidental poisoner Vladimir Putin, who our own justice department believes attacked our mostly free elections and our true national monument, the Internet.

If you're as old as I am, you'll recall that back in the 1980s, the whole Republican brand involved not trusting the Ruskies, and they were especially disappointed when Kevin Costner turned out to be one in No Way Out. Now, the current Republican president is talking like some kind of crazy commie lib, bashing the FBI and giving the benefit of the doubt to a former KGB agent. During an interview Sunday where he wore a hat with "USA" in big letters on it, presumably so someone could easily return him if he got lost on the field trip, Trump went so far as to call the European Union a "foe" of his country, which if you believe his hat is supposedly the United States not Russia.

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We feel like we say this a lot during these dark days of the Trump era, but WHAT IN THE HOLY MOTHERFUCKING FUCK DID WE JUST WATCH? And how in the hell can anyone who claims to give a shit about this country be OK with the public tongue-bath Donald Trump just gave Vladimir Putin on live TV?

The reviews are starting to roll in:

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