Thursdays with Tina: Fresh Meat Edition

Back by popular demand: Translating Tina Brown's Thursday column in the Washington Post. We understand it so that you don't have to.

Tina saysTina means
The Jail Thing is working so well for Martha Stewart it may become the PR strategy of choice for other public figures who have run afoul of the image police. I think Martha Stewart went to Image Jail. Also, capitalizing something makes it a trend!
Jennifer Lopez didn’t have to go to all the trouble of designing a new fashion line, toiling over a new album and rebounding into a doleful marriage to Marc Anthony.I am incredible credulous about how hard stars "work" on "their" fashion lines and albums and I consider being married a Latino hottie worse than going to prison.
But all that was before the Age of Privatization.I'm totally working that capitalization thing. I mean, Capitalization Thing.
The new century’s “Letter From Birmingham Jail” could be from Paris Hilton, via her T-Mobile Sidekick.I have seen more women's prison movies than I would like to admit. I'm getting hot just thinking about it.

The useful thing about going down for a few months is it fast-tracks the process of Humbling Up.See, capitalizing works because it signifies Big Important Idea. Also, my editor is hiding in a broom closet.
Like the Cheshire cat, she was able to disappear, her annoying, controlling personality vanishing from view, leaving only the smile behind. I told her having a show on CNBC would accomplish the same goal, but she didn't listen.
The level of venom Martha experienced was all about how she made every other mini-player in the media firmament feel like a wallflower. Status rage is always the ugliest. Not that I would know anything about that.
Prison can at least shut out all that. Once those big steel gates are locked, they effectively silence the moralizing of the pundits, the gassing of the cable shows, the baying of the blogs, the torment of the tabs. Only the chosen few are on the visiting list and all they are appointed to bring is good cheer. That's right, I am romanticizing prison. Because, really, it has to be better than CNBC....

Martha Stewart and the Pros of Being a Con [WP]

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