Thursdays with Tina: Mirror, Mirror on the Wall Edition

She's forgotten she writes for the Washington Post again.


TinaSpeakWhat it means
United States Code, Section 1001 -- "Material misrepresentation to the federal government," the sinister new Zip code of humiliation where Martha now lives -- is the first course at upscale dinner parties.It's been so long since I've been invited to a dinner party that I have forgotten what food is.
Manhattan's power women are resolving to finish their tax returns on time, review the immigration status of their babysitters, say warm good-mornings to their doormen, and admit on their customs forms to every last St. Laurent bag they picked up at the collections in Paris (no more snipping off the labels the night before). I have never actually said more than a warm good-morning to my door man. Perhaps someday I will ask him what it's like to be poor.
Mariana Pasternak was a lifestyle groupie from Martha's Westport, Conn., world. My lack of self-awareness would surprise even me if I were to suddenly gain some.
But a freeloader will always harbor a small shard of rage at the necessity of being patronized.La la la la la.
The curse of modern communications is the ability to always stay in touch. . . . It leads to frantic, ill-thought-out, knee-jerk decisions.Dum de dum de dum.

Half the disasters of business, politics and love are caused by blurting out a half-cocked first response.What is self-awareness, anyway? I don't think I've heard of it. Is it like self-absorption?
I still puzzle over -- and occasionally try to reproduce -- the sound that Douglas Faneuil alleges a furious Martha made on the telephone: "a lion roaring underwater."Brrrraaaawwwwp. No. How about: Grrrrrrr-ug-glug-glug? Meeeeoooow-ubble-ubble! Oh, you're still there? OK--now where was I?
No one would read a book by Vogue editor Anna Wintour for what it might reveal about Lauren Weisberger as a personal assistant because no one is interested in Lauren Weisberger. But Weisberger's silly takedown of Wintour, "The Devil Wears Prada," was a bestseller.Was I making a head-thumpingly obvious mock-observation?
A luxe fur scarf on judgment day sends the wrong message. I believe I was.
If all else fails, try obeying the law. Word count fulfilled!

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Defendants [WP]


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