Thursdays with Tina: Sometimes Appears on Fridays Edition
Wouldn't it be awesome if Tina was at the Correspondents' dinner?
| TinaSpeak | What it means |
| 12 power players who had all been talking at once about the mess in Iraq suddenly fell silent to listen to the waiter. | He spoke English and everything. |
| "I'm from the suburbs," he announced, "and I'm voting for Bush." | Hey, this reporting thing is easy! |
| "It might seem odd that a savvy New Yorker like me is voting for a guy in a cowboy hat." | You just write down what people who come up to you in restaurants say. |
| [H]e recklessly doled out ice cream to a network anchor. | Have you ever seen an anchor on a sugar high? |
| "[B]ut what we want is stability. This Kerry guy -- he's all over the place." | I wonder if this is how Nagourney does it. |
| Huh? Stability? What about all the mayhem in Iraq? | Observe my masterful transition sentence. |
| Bait the hook with the absurd "issue" of whether it was medals or ribbons that Kerry hurled over the wall when he was a 27-year-old hothead. Then watch the media bite -- they'll do it every time. | If only they were real journalists like me. Look at me here, talking to a waiter. They should talk to more waiters. |
New York Dems, having raised a staggering $9 million for Kerry on his last swing through town, now want to see their money in motion. They're vexed with the campaign's sluggish response to attack. | I'm tired of reporting. I'm going to go back to making wild generalizations based on dinner party conversations with my friends. |
| Get his old Vietnam buddies to do a commando raid on the Bush-Cheney mud machine! Get those guys to travel with him all the time in a pack in sweaty old uniforms! Democrats long to bring on a new attack dog with unimpeachable Q ratings. | Or, what the hell, I'll just make shit up. |
| Unleash the scimitar chin of Eliot Spitzer! | Really. He can cut wheat with that thing. |
| A veep groundswell is building again for John Edwards. So what if he doesn't deliver a state? He has charisma. He's a jury-pleaser. He'll stay cool under fire. | I'd fuck 'im. |
| " 'This is the moment to strike and watch the poll numbers go UP!' " Stephanopoulos quotes Morris. "On that last phrase, Morris threw his hands high above his head while wiggling his fingers and standing on the tips of his toes -- a political shaman casting a spell, enraptured by his own ecstatic dance." | I have patterned my writing style on that of George Stephanopoulos |
Taking the GOP Bait, Hook, Line and Stinker [WP]
