Thursdays with Tina: The I've Seen Movies Edition

Once again, we bring you Wonkette's (only) public service, "Translating Tina Brown":

  • a more metrosexual approach to foreign relations

    Means:"If only diplomats would use moisturizer."

  • Kerry, the talking tree with the '70s hair

    Means:"I have seen 'Lord of the Rings.'"

  • [B]ut the nation wants swords, not plowshares -- "Top Gun," not "It's a Wonderful Life."

    Means:"I have seen 'Top Gun' and 'It's a Wonderful Life.'"

  • Jay Leno is a celebrity, too, and he wouldn't have had a chance [at becoming California's governor]

    Means:"I have a touching faith in the intelligence of Californians."

  • American myths of masculinity draw on the strong, silent archetype -- John Wayne and Gary Cooper, later Charles Bronson and Charlton Heston, and more recently the subarticulate comic book action heroes like Sylvester Stallone and, yes, Ahnuld. American portraits of maleness have always favored instinct over intellect, action over reason. Rhett over Ashley. Patton over Marshall. Kirk over Spock.

    Means:"I have, in fact, seen a lot of movies."

  • While the police commissioner is still fretting about getting a proper search warrant Harry has already offed the bad guy with his great big pistol.

    Means:"Mmmmm. . . pistol."

  • Tough Time for Democrats [WaPo]

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    Kamala Harris was holding it down at the South Carolina Democratic Convention this weekend, and she wasn't just there to kick it at Clyburn's Fish Fry, hang out with Berndog Sanders, and just look extra good. No. She fucking running for President, and she's actually got a chance, unlike the many Mayo Casserole Men who keep jumping into the damn race. Why did they jump in after Kamala and Elizabeth Warren, the only people who are even running, clearly said, "We got it from here, boys"? Not sure, but regardless, it was unnecessary. Doesn't matter anyway because who is gonna remember Dadface McDorksky when Kamala is turning it the fuck out with speeches indicting Trump?

    Do you believe in America? Kamala Harris believes in America, and her Saturday speech calls out for justice, and righteousness; where Barack Obama struck hopeful, dulcet, aspirational tones, Harris strikes sharp chords of urgency. To say that she read Trump the riot act would be, and is, an understatement; what she did here raised a crucial reality that some Dems refuse to see. Trump MUST be prosecuted. The Democratic nominee will wear many hats, and one of the most important of those hats is that of a prosecutor. There is a case to be made against Donald J. Trump, hell, there are so many cases, and as far as Harris is concerned, who better to make that case, but a COP? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

    Kamala Harris at the South Carolina Democratic Convention June, 22 2019

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    Kevin Downing, you got some 'splainin' to do! Superfans will remember Kevin Downing as Paul Manafort's lawyer who hilariously botched the redactions because PDFs are haaaard, revealing to the world that his client had handed over internal Trump polling data to his Russian buddy six weeks before the election. Less hilariously, he also botched the legal ethics by continuing to spill deets on the Mueller investigation to Trump after his own client Manafort had theoretically "flipped." But it turns out that Downing almost got himself pounded by Judge Amy Berman Jackson's contempt gavel for violating the court's gag order and talking to ...

    MANAFORT: Sean
    Per our conversation this morning, my attorney -- Kevin Downing -- will call you at 11:30am tomorrow. He will update you on what we are doing and how it connects to your reporting. What number should I give him to call you?

    HANNITY: Awesome.

    Client Number Three himself, the most respected journalist of them all, Sean Hannity! Someone should give that guy a Pulitzer.

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