Thursdays with Tina: The I've Seen Movies Edition

Once again, we bring you Wonkette's (only) public service, "Translating Tina Brown":

  • a more metrosexual approach to foreign relations

    Means:"If only diplomats would use moisturizer."

  • Kerry, the talking tree with the '70s hair

    Means:"I have seen 'Lord of the Rings.'"

  • [B]ut the nation wants swords, not plowshares -- "Top Gun," not "It's a Wonderful Life."

    Means:"I have seen 'Top Gun' and 'It's a Wonderful Life.'"

  • Jay Leno is a celebrity, too, and he wouldn't have had a chance [at becoming California's governor]

    Means:"I have a touching faith in the intelligence of Californians."

  • American myths of masculinity draw on the strong, silent archetype -- John Wayne and Gary Cooper, later Charles Bronson and Charlton Heston, and more recently the subarticulate comic book action heroes like Sylvester Stallone and, yes, Ahnuld. American portraits of maleness have always favored instinct over intellect, action over reason. Rhett over Ashley. Patton over Marshall. Kirk over Spock.

    Means:"I have, in fact, seen a lot of movies."

  • While the police commissioner is still fretting about getting a proper search warrant Harry has already offed the bad guy with his great big pistol.

    Means:"Mmmmm. . . pistol."

  • Tough Time for Democrats [WaPo]


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