Thursdays with Tina: Will You Be My Friend?
We spent the morning showing our boss exactly what the clinical definition of "bipolar" is (so much better than a note from our doctor!), so we apologize for this week's installment being a little late. But, here we go: Translating Tina.
Tina-speakWhat it means[Dean had] been giving New Yorkers a queasy bout of cognitive dissonance. . .I have recently learned some big words.[C]alm assurance was always their thing, not vein-popping belligerence. . .Belligerence. Beeee-lidge-er-ence. B-E-L-L-I-G-E-R-E-N-C-E (Also: Penis!) "His very dislikablity is his only likability factor for me," writer Brad Gooch told me.I like to pretend that people still talk to me.The atmosphere at Upper East Side dinner parties was oddly reminiscent of the height of the Internet boom. . .I like to pretend that I still get invited to parties.. . . the glimpse of presidential fun-rides to come. . .Let's pretend that the president is a roller-coaster! Wheeeee!No such sugarplum visions were roused by the rise of Internet Dean.Dean would make a bad roller-coaster.An investment banker offered this morsel of inside information: "When they took out [Kerry's] prostate gland, they took out his aloof gland, too."My pretend friends sometimes say things even I don't understand. (Also: Penis!)Excuse me, where does this leave their most recent establishment flavor of the month, Wesley Clark? Nobody wants to talk about that.My pretend friends have deserted me.Nothing is sexier to donor-groupies than momentum, and there's a locomotive roaring into New Hampshire called Kerry and Edwards.Penis, penis, penis!
Not Putting Their Money Where His Mouth Is [Wash Post]