Tim James Will Make Sex Offenders Shout 'Ima Sex-fender' In Town Hall Everyday
Deep-thinkin' Mexican tort-reformin' bidnessman Tim James, candidate for Alabama governor, has released the latest installment in his "wander 'round the mansion lookin' pensive 'n' shit" series of advertisements. This one's called "Sex Offenders" and opens with our hero, top shirt button undone and tie loosened for the first time, clutching his terrified wife and saying, "I'm Tim James. We've got three kids..." So it's probably about difficult funding measures and/or necessary bureaucratic restructuring. No panderin' this time.
Tim James says that he wants to make sex offenders re-register with the state every 90 days, just to see who they've been fuckin'. Why not make it every 45 days? A man can get to fuckin' all sorts of young'uns in 45 days. And Tim James is gonna beat the shit outta each one of 'em.
Some legislators, he adds, would disagree with this, because how's they gonna get to fuckin' their kids anymore? How "inconvenient," he adds, using a word he can just barely pronounce. Don't touch they bread-and-buttah.
Tim James also says that he is a businessman.