Tim Pawlenty Re-Engineering Humanity, With Book Nobody Read

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What do you do when you're trying to run for president but you're bland and nobody will buy your book? Release a "trailer" video for it to scare old people into thinking you're going to fly huge screaming jets personally into their insecurities. Broaden it to include all of humanity, even though you're a powerless former governor nobody cares about. And then juxtapose this with clips of yourself going to the National Press Club one time, when people noticed you were there. "This Summer: Brute Competence Rides In an Elevator. White Guys Are Back, and They're Gonna Save the Day."

Perfect. And Pawlenty is able to show his compassion to all of the important constituencies:

Down syndrome.

Wheelchairs.

Pretty young women with camera phones.

This election is locked up. Now it's time to buddy up with Will Smith and kill some giant steampunk spiders. [YouTube]

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