To Dream a Beautiful Dream

what a queen!Young women come to D.C. with high hopes and pure motives. They come to be a part of the city that is the capital of the free world. They come to have cold water poured over them and to shake their ta-tas at strangers in exchange for pocket change.

No, we're not talking about Rick Santorum's latest class of interns. We're talking about the young idealists who recently auditioned to be waitresses, also known as "hos," at the Coyote Ugly bar in D.C. scheduled to open next month. We have no idea why this wasn't in the Post (Get Getler* on the line!), but the Fredericksberg Free Lance-Star covered it in loving, earnest detail:

Seventy-seven ladies, dressed in skin-tight jeans and micro-minis, thigh-high boots and spiky stilettos, steamed up the bar like a sauna last Wednesday night. . . But only about 30 would win the chance to work at Washington's new Coyote Ugly Bar & Dance Saloon.

Clearly, the auditions are hard. The women (already hampered by their slutty clothes) are made to juggle liquor bottles in a fashion made popular by the moving Tom Cruise documentary, Cocktail. Apparently, it is a difficult skill to master: "Audience members ducked as the novice tossers sent bottles clinking and clanking." By the end of the night, the stage was "littered" with "shards of broken glass."

And, of course, broken dreams.

Sizzling women wowed the crowd at last week's steamy Coyote Ugly bartender competition [Fredericksburg Free Lance-Star]

*Getler, Mike: The omsbudsman of the Washington Post. Wears a Speedo to bed, we don't know why.


How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)


©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc