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Today In Anti-Muslinism: No-Mosque NIMBYs, Tennessee Terrists, and Cardboard Hatreds

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It's time for another installment of Burn Yer Queeran, where we talk about "Islamophobia, American-style" in bullet-point format. Is everyone psyched to learn about the latest trends in bigotry? Awesome! Let's proceed, then.


  • "If it bleeds, it leads" -- and so we start our sad tour with the story about Ahmed H. Sharif, the New York City cab driver who was slashed in the neck and face because he is Muslim. A college student accused of attacking Sharif has been charged with attempted murder and other serious hate crimes, and because he's being held without bail will probably become a martyr-figure for right-wingers and mosque opponents who will say he's being "made an example of" and "railroaded" and other victim-words. A depressing and worrying story every way you look at it, though Mayor Mike Bloomberg did invite Sharif to visit City Hall. Sharif must be so excited, if he's not overwhelmed by excruciating pain and trauma.
  • In Mayfield, Kentucky, a crowd of more than 250 town residents cheered when their local zoning board voted down a permit for a mosque proposed by a local Somali group, reports the Louisville Courier-Journal. Supposedly, the problem was related to parking: Unlike good, God-fearing Christians, who only have to go to church once a week, muslins have to pray every day to atone for all their wrongdoings, and this creates parking shortages ("Sharia of the Parking Lot"). The ACLU of Kentucky isn't buying the zoning board's story and is looking into the matter. Meanwhile, the mosque-less Somalis will continue working at their depressing chicken processing jobs -- which is why they're in Mayfield in the first place, aside from destroying America there.
  • In Madera, California (near Fresno), someone threw a brick at an Islamic center and left behind signs stating "NO Temple for the god of terrorism at Ground Zero ANB" and "Wake up America, the Enemy is here. ANB." The ANB is reportedly the American Nationalist Brotherhood, which must not be a very popular or ambitious hate group because the local sheriffs haven't heard of 'em. Also, they don't even have a website. Come on people, it's 2010 -- you can at least make a Facebook page, it's not even that hard. Anyway, the sheriff's investigating this one as a hate crime.
  • A new poll by CBS News shows that 71% of Americans oppose the Manhattan not-mosque, especially when there could be another peep show palace in that location, or even a McDonald's. And 29% don't think the developers "have the right" to build it, because the 14th Amendment should be abolished RIGHT NOW.
  • In an article accompanying its poll results, CBS mentioned the ongoing debate surrounding a proposed mosque in Murfreesboro, Tennessee. As one local told the a CBS reporter, "It is not about religion ... It is about stopping Tennessee homegrown terrorists." Then she burned a Koran.
  • Welcome to Mega-Mosque Nation! That's the name given to America by the Christian Broadcasting Network's "News Terrorism Analyst" Erick Stakelbeck, because of "the nationwide growth of mega-mosques." Watch Stakelbeck's show on his website, and see if you can feel your pulse quicken as his apocalyptic terror talk fills you with dread! You've got nothing better to do.
  • Edward Cline, a columnist at the much-beloved Family Security Matters, writes that he is not aware "of any Republicans publicly endorsing strip clubs and lap dancing." Yeah, neither are we.

[AP/Louisville Courier-Journal/Fresno Bee/CBS News/Stakelbeck on Terror website/Family Security Matters]

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Let's take a break from the awful terrible news for a moment and check in with Donald Trump Jr. and his unfortunate face. As you may remember, Junior and his wife Vanessa are getting divorced, probably because Vanessa Trump is tired of waking up from nightmares about being married to a guy with that face and immediately seeing him sleeping next to her in bed with that face just leaving imprints on their nice luxury pillows. And the divorce has apparently been getting DIRTY, because "somebody" has been leaking stories to the New York Post about how Vanessa Trump used to write love letters to her MS-13 boyfriend in jail and Vanessa Trump used to date 9/11 and Vanessa Trump doesn't need any Trump money because she is swimming in Marinara Buck$, and so on and so forth. Who is whispering these Vanessa Trump Secrets in the New York Post's ear? Definitely not Junior!

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House Republicans, apparently trying to remind America that they're capable of bad decisions on so many more issues than just immigration, have offered a bold new plan to balance the federal budget in just nine years, eschewing the usual 10-year timeline more typical of such rightwing wet dreams to prove they're serious this time. And what an exciting name the thing has: It's called "A Brighter American Future," and it offers such fresh new Republican ideas as massive cuts to Medicare, also privatizing Medicare, chopping Medicaid into little bits, and then stomping on the bits -- all assuming that they've, once again, repealed Obamacare.

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