Today in Burning George Allen Questions

  • Why was he arrested? The DSCC wants to know. While the charitable among us say it could be for something as innocent as an unpaid parking ticket, this is George Allen we're talking about, so he probably chocked a Polack to death.

  • What's with his sealed divorce records? Current popular theory: His "spit on his wife." Once again: This is George Allen. He spits on everyone and everything. He probably shot her dog and put it in a black family's fridge.

  • Does he secretly want to get gay married?
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