Today In Dumbduckery: Alabama Legislator Introduces 'We Heart Phil Robertson' Resolution; Camo-Wearing Fans To Eat Chicken Sammiches
The Duck Dynasty Crisis continues apace, and so we bring you a couple of updates (we could go to an all-Duck Dynasty format if we wanted to, but we respect you too much for that). First off, in the great state of Alabama, state Sen. Jerry Fielding announced Monday that he'll introduce a resolution calling on A&E network to end its oppression of Phil Robertson, who was simply stating what all good Christians believe:
"Phil Robertson's family values are shared by the vast majority of Alabamians, who are rightfully concerned by the vitriol aimed at his Christian stance," Fielding said in a statement. "There's a clear double standard in the media favoring a liberal worldview. When it's used to silence and punish Christians for stating their beliefs, that's when we must defend the rights of individuals to exercise their free speech without fear of politically-motivated repercussion. I join thousands across Alabama and our country by standing with Phil Robertson, and urge A&E to reverse their action against him."
It sure is nice to see a state senator who so clearly understands how the Constitution works. The resolution also calls Robertson and his stage-managed family "ambassadors of the love and grace of the Heavenly Father through their exemplary lives on and off the camera."
The heavenly Father is, as we all know, a big fan of the days when happy blacks sang as they worked in the fields and never minded Jim Crow, because they were godly and hadn't been corrupted by food stamps.
In another corner of DuckDerp Nation, a Facebook campaign has fixed on January 21 as "Chik-Phil-A-Day," combining a tribute to the homo-hatin' Robertson with an attempt to recreate 2012's hugely successful campaign to convince wingnuts to eat fried chicken sandwiches for Jesus.
The people organizing the event say they are unaffiliated with either the Robertson family or the restaurant chain. They're encouraging Robertson supporters to wear Duck Commander brand camo and go to a chain restaurant, thus proving that the liberal elites can never silence the free speech rights of Christians to condemn homos. As we have seen from several hundred million whines about poor Phil Robertson, such opinions are completely suppressed in today's politically correct media.
We'll keep you updated on the next important developments in this very important story. Has Phil Robertson started a campaign exploratory committee, for instance? And isn't this all just a distraction from Benghazi/IRS/Obamacare/Fast and Furious?
Follow Doktor Zoom on Twitter. He's hoping to someday know as little about Phil Robertson as he does about Gloria Vanderbilt.
Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.