Today In Sarcastic Missed Connections
Is everyone else as cranky as we are today? How else to explain the prevalence of obviously opprobrious craigslist postings -- and on the Missed Connections board of all places, generally the home of crushingly banal sincerity (it is, after all, hard to be insincere about desperation and lust). First up, a reader notes that the last month has seen a remarkable number of M.C.s at a certain building that happens to be home the Office of Special Counsel. This one reads sincere. This one , not so much:
You are a buxom young intern with Wal-Mart watch, and though we work several floors apart you occupy my fantasies throughout the workday.
It's so funny that you are so dedicated to watching Wal-Mart... I love Wal-Mart too! Those prices... low, low as my heart sinks when I don't work up the courage to say hello. All the newest releases of my favorite country-western musicians... hot, hot as my day dreams of you.
Someone's a funny guy. A funny guy with a nice benefits package and a living wage, we're guessing.
And you know, it definitely is cheating when you admit to writing the post on your blog , but, hell, it's an unverified and potentially libelous Newt Gingrich Missed Connection , so it's more or less mandatory that we cover it.
We think the author might be reading a bit more into this sighting that was perhaps going on. Getting wasted at brunch is more likely to lead to a Sunday afternoon nap than a gross old-people threesome. Besides, by that point on most Sundays, Newt's generally too spent from his reborn-centrist-wizened-elder-statesmen Russert/Matthews handjobs to attend to his bitches. Guy's gettin' up there in years, after all.
Looking for the hot Wal-Mart Watch intern [craigslist]
Missed Connection with Newt Gingrich [the Alpha John]
MC with Newt Gingrich, his wife, her "old roomate", and their sobriety [craigslist]