Today In Sarcastic Missed Connections
Is everyone else as cranky as we are today? How else to explain the prevalence of obviously opprobrious craigslist postings -- and on the Missed Connections board of all places, generally the home of crushingly banal sincerity (it is, after all, hard to be insincere about desperation and lust). First up, a reader notes that the last month has seen a remarkable number of M.C.s at a certain building that happens to be home the Office of Special Counsel. This one reads sincere. This one, not so much:
You are a buxom young intern with Wal-Mart watch, and though we work several floors apart you occupy my fantasies throughout the workday.
It's so funny that you are so dedicated to watching Wal-Mart... I love Wal-Mart too! Those prices... low, low as my heart sinks when I don't work up the courage to say hello. All the newest releases of my favorite country-western musicians... hot, hot as my day dreams of you.
Someone's a funny guy. A funny guy with a nice benefits package and a living wage, we're guessing.
And you know, it definitely is cheating when you admit to writing the post on your blog, but, hell, it's an unverified and potentially libelous Newt Gingrich Missed Connection, so it's more or less mandatory that we cover it.
We think the author might be reading a bit more into this sighting that was perhaps going on. Getting wasted at brunch is more likely to lead to a Sunday afternoon nap than a gross old-people threesome. Besides, by that point on most Sundays, Newt's generally too spent from his reborn-centrist-wizened-elder-statesmen Russert/Matthews handjobs to attend to his bitches. Guy's gettin' up there in years, after all.
Looking for the hot Wal-Mart Watch intern [craigslist]
Missed Connection with Newt Gingrich [the Alpha John]