Hey, America, it's time to celebrate Tax Freedom Day. But hold on, now--in truth, you aren't any freer today than you were yesterday. Let's not get crazy! Tax Freedom Day is merely the day by which the average taxpayer has earned enough money to pay next year's tax burden. Basically, it's a day for heroic jerks who like to imagine how great the world would be if the DMV was run by AOL Time Warner to get together and bitch, bitch, bitch about living in this great country of ours.
So remember, if the check-out girl at Home Depot forgets to specifically wish you a "Merry Tax Freedom Day," it's because she hates the baby Jesus and you should notify Matt Drudge immediately.
Just a reminder: "Thank You Undocumented Laborers For Paying the Social Security Needed to Keep My Useless Grandfather in Diapers Until He's 98" Day is not until June 12th.