Today's COVID In Three Acts
Twitter video screenshot

The Coronavirus Pandemic continues, with the Idiocy Pandemic following up to make sure the actual virus keeps spreading. Here for your enjoyment, if that's the word, are three videos demonstrating the nation's diverse views on the continuing crisis.

First up, this amazing WTF video from One America News, collected by Media Matters staffer Bobby Lewis, in which OAN angrybaldman Pearson Sharp seems to be racing to fit every single rightwing obsession and cliché of the pandemic into a single seven-minute rant.

There's a bit of everything here! Did you know that even now, Gavin Newsom is still dining out at a fancy restaurant in November 2020, while the rest of us are locked down forever? (Just to review, even in November 2020, California didn't have a lockdown, but had recommended that gatherings not include people from more than three different households. It was a dumb thing to do, but different from the dumb thing he was accused of.)

Also too, vaccines are killing everyone, especially children, but people are also dying from COVID because they're not allowed to take lifesaving horse paste, but also nobody's really dying from COVID because it's only the Fauci Flu, and also the vaccines don't work because even in highly vaccinated Israel, lots of people are getting infected, so nobody needs vaccines! Also, you may not have seen any reports on this, but at least 30 percent of people who get the vaccine either died or had permanent injuries!!! Also, did he mention that the vaccines kill all the babies? It's "child sacrifice on the altar of Big Pharma."

Mixed into all that are all sorts of hilarious jokes like how "CDC" stands for the "Centers for Democrat Control." Also, oh, oh, CHINA VIRUS!

Sharp explains that the vaccines are in fact the things that are really killing America, so he closes by urging "all you progressives and Democrats and radical leftists" to hurry up and get vaccinated, although honestly, we already are. But while we're at it, he says, we should go and get lots of boosters, like maybe 10 of em, because, as he explains, all the "sane, freedom loving Americans" are depending on us to die off from being vaccinated. "The survival of our country depends on it."

Pearson Sharp really does get off on a good murder fantasy; you may recall that back in July, he eagerly anticipated mass executions of everyone who stole the 2020 election from Donald Trump. This is pretty much the same thing, except even better, because we'll all die from the vaccine that we all took like sheeple. And if OAN viewers die because they listen to that paranoid bullshit, well, that's our fault too for withholding the magic horse paste.

Read More: OAN Host Just Calling For Mass Executions Of Everyone Who Stole Election From Trump

On the other side of the sanity clause, there's this nice video of a patriotic American at a grocery store in Virginia, heckling Gov. Glenn Youngkin for not wearing a mask.

Governor, where's your mask?

Youngkin: We're all making choices today.

Woman: Yeah, look around you, Governor, you're in Alexandria. Read the room buddy!

We like this woman who is making her choice — to be awesome. No idea who the goon is that's bodychecking her, whether he's some kind of bodyguard, or just a self-appointed Youngkin fan. Same trench coat as another guy, so we're guessing security jerk, BOO, SECURITY JERK. YOU SHOULD PROBABLY GO TO JAIL.

Finally, to close out our trilogy of COVID videos, we couldn't find a third video about COVID, so here is a very happy doggo who learned how to get the machine to throw the ball, and just LOOK at the happy little anticipatory jumping dance as this Good Dog waits for the whooshy sound that means the ball is coming:

Points also to Other Dog, who has seen it all and is harder to impress than this.

Good weekend to you all; remember, though, real Open Thread is still to come, from Hooper the Barkeep.

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Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.


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