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Tonight's Other Viewing Options

suzanne.jpgTonight, at 8:30 EST, President Bush will interrupt the more substantive political commentary of "The O'Reilly Factor," "Will & Grace," and a bunch of other shows to talk in a vague, genial, and reassuringly firm manner about freedom, God, God-given freedom, God-given high gas prices, and the need to attack Social Security before it's too late. Craving a more telling look at the current state of the Union? We point you to some alternatives airing at the same time.


Suzanne Somers Goddess Jewelry/Home Shopping Network: What happened to Kansas? Suzanne Somers started making CZ-studded bracelets so affordable labor unions lost out to the sacred marital union between one man and one woman.

Pimp My Ride/MTV2: Gas up to $3 a gallon? So what? When your car looks this good, you don't need to actually drive anywhere. Just park it on the corner and let the bitches pay tribute.

Alternative Medicine: Apitherapy/Wisdom Network: What's apitherapy? The use of honeybee venom to treat health problems. With $10 billion in Medicaid cuts on the horizon, it's time to put those backyard picnic pests to work.

Bush to Hold Prime-time Press Conference [Reuters]

Congress Reaches Deal on Medicaid and Budget [NY Times]

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It's the night before the two-night Democratic primary debate extravaganza, and we're already tired. Turns out having 20 candidates spread across two nights when only six or eight of them matter is not the must-see TV we all thought it was going to be! But that's not to dissuade you from getting excited! We're excited! We're so excited! We're so ...

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SCARED!

In case you need a reminder, here is how it's going to go down:

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Lately he's been blowing smoke from another orifice.

After a cursory examination of the TWELVE filings in the case against California Congressman Duncan Hunter just in the past 24 hours, we can confidently declare that that guy is a fucking idiot. The prosecutors have him by every last one of his short and curlies -- which is what happens when you use your campaign credit card to pay for hundreds of thousands of dollars of ski trips, video games, tuition, and plane tickets for the family rabbit.

A rational human being would have pleaded down a year ago and given up his congressional seat, since he could cash out and make a lot more money as a lobbyist anyway. But not Duncan Hunter! He made the federal government chase him down and document every last carton of cigarettes, round of tequila, and Uber ride of shame home from his many girlfriends' houses in a 60-count indictment filed last August. And still this dumb sumbitch refused to admit he was caught, even after his lovely wife (and co-conspirator) Margaret Hunter flipped on him this month -- which is what happens when you use your campaign credit card to carry on multiple affairs and you piss off the US Attorneys enough that they put every 7 a.m. Uber ride in your indictment.

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