Tonight, at 8:30 EST, President Bush will interrupt the more substantive political commentary of "The O'Reilly Factor," "Will & Grace," and a bunch of other shows to talk in a vague, genial, and reassuringly firm manner about freedom, God, God-given freedom, God-given high gas prices, and the need to attack Social Security before it's too late. Craving a more telling look at the current state of the Union? We point you to some alternatives airing at the same time.
Suzanne Somers Goddess Jewelry/Home Shopping Network: What happened to Kansas? Suzanne Somers started making CZ-studded bracelets so affordable labor unions lost out to the sacred marital union between one man and one woman.
Pimp My Ride/MTV2: Gas up to $3 a gallon? So what? When your car looks this good, you don't need to actually drive anywhere. Just park it on the corner and let the bitches pay tribute.
Alternative Medicine: Apitherapy/Wisdom Network: What's apitherapy? The use of honeybee venom to treat health problems. With $10 billion in Medicaid cuts on the horizon, it's time to put those backyard picnic pests to work.
— GREG BEATO
Bush to Hold Prime-time Press Conference [Reuters]
Congress Reaches Deal on Medicaid and Budget [NY Times]