Top 10 DC Attractions To See While in DC Anyway

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Many of you will be descendingen masse to DC this weekend, and after about 24 hours, you will probably become a terrible burden for the host whom you're definitely imposing upon. But there are exciting things here besides Obama; things that will keep you interested and informed and out of the house. So, here is Wonkette's Official Top 10 DC Attractions To See While in DC Anyway.


10.

The Attraction: The Lincoln Memorial

What Do You Do Once You Get There?: See Lincoln, our 44th President!

You Are Not Quite Yet Convinced, Well...: You must see this thing before the big Tribute to Mediocrity concert on Sunday because by then it will have probably been destroyed to make way for, god even knows, some Jonas Brothers-related something. Plus, it's open 24 hours, so you have NO EXCUSE not to go

(Famous) DC Person You're Likely to See: Abraham Lincoln, for sure

[Lincoln Memorial]

9.

The Attraction: Comet Ping Pong Pizza

What Do You Do Once You Get There?: Eat pizza, there are only a few kinds, but they're pretty diverse, for such is America. There's a pie with merguez, and one called the "Yalie," with comes with clams and smugness.

You Are Not Quite Yet Convinced, Well...: There are a couple ping pong tables in the back, plus it's two storefronts down from Politics & Prose, another recommended destination on this very guide.

(Famous) DC Person You're Likely to See: Local punk bands sometimes play in the back

[Comet Ping Pong]

8.

The Attraction: Georgetown Cupcake

What Do You Do Once You Get There?: Eat, but make sure you also get coffee to lessen the effects of your inevitable sugar crash

You Are Not Quite Yet Convinced, Well...: It was voted best cupcake by the Washington Post, for whatever that's worth. There's also a special sweet-cream Inaugural cupcake.

(Famous) DC Person You're Likely to See: Visiting New Yorkers who have (justifiably!) disavowed Magnolia

[Georgetown Cupcake]

7.

The Attraction: The Tombs

What Do You Do Once You Get There?: Drink, make friends (or enemies!) with Georgetown students

You Are Not Quite Yet Convinced, Well...: It's right across the street from the Exorcist Stairs, which really are kind of creepy in person.

(Famous) DC Person You're Likely to See: College students in various levels of sobriety, drunk rich people who have wandered in from fancy numerical restaurant 1789, which is directly upstairs.

[The Tombs]

6.

The Attraction: The National Gallery

What Do You Do Once You Get There?: See art, all kinds of art, and then buy a poster from the gift shop because it is a "conversation piece."

You Are Not Quite Yet Convinced, Well...: Alexander Calder's mobiles are awesome, and there's currently an Ansel Adams exhibit, if that's your thing.

(Famous) DC Person You're Likely to See: Visiting Russian oligarchs, asking for the prices of things

[National Gallery]

5.

The Attraction: Ben's Chili Bowl

What Do You Do Once You Get There?: Order a "half-smoke" with some chili

You Are Not Quite Yet Convinced, Well: Obama was just there!

(Famous) DC Person You're Likely to See: Local terrible hipsters who've wandered in after the invariable My Morning Jacket show at the 9:30 Club

[Ben's Chili Bowl]

4.

The Attraction: Spy Museum

What Do You Do Once You Get There?: There are "discussions" about "world affairs" for adults, but there are also gadget rooms, exhibits about codebreaking secrets, and short movies about espinoage throughout the ages

You Are Not Quite Yet Convinced, Well...: Discussions are workshops are a lot the time actually led by ex-spies, so that's nice

(Famous) DC Person You're Likely to See: The ghost of Ethel Rosenberg, maybe Roy Cohn too.

[Spy Museum]

3.

The Attraction: Politics & Prose

What Do You Do Once You Get There?: Drink coffee/eat lunch downstairs at the Modern Times coffee shop, upstairs there's the bookstore, which includes a very good magazine collection

You Are Not Quite Yet Convinced, Well...: There are big armchairs scattered throughout the store for reading, or napping. Plus, the store is really not as obnoxious as that ampersand is leading you to believe.

(Famous) DC Person You're Likely to See: Some intern-y types, older white men who look like they probably work at the Atlantic.

[Politics & Prose]

2.

The Attraction: The Smithsonian

What Do You Do Once You Get There?: The Smithsonian contains every possible thing you might have ever been interested in: the Hope Diamond, the Wright Brothers' plane, the Emancipation Proclamation, and America's top pandas. It is the internet of museums.

You Are Not Quite Yet Convinced, Well...: There are dinosaurs.

(Famous) DC Person You're Likely to See: There's a yearlong celebration of Lincoln on his 200th birthday, so probably some of "We Are One" performers who think it's the Lincoln Memorial

[Smithsonian]

1.

The Attraction: The graves of F. Scott and Zelda Fitzgerald

What Do You Do Once You Get There?: It seems to be customary to leave a glass of liquor or beer on the tombstone (because he was an alcoholic?)

You Are Not Quite Yet Convinced, Well...: Who knew these two were buried in Rockville, MD? You did.

(Famous) DC Person You're Likely to See: Probably no one, as this is still a relatively below-the-radar thing

[F. Scott Fitzgerald Gravesite]

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