Donate
News

ANOTHER Government Shutdown!?! Wonkagenda For Mon., Feb. 11, 2019.

Trump demands WALL (again), everyone is still talking about Jeff Bezos's dick pics, and so much more. Your morning news brief!

Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.

Keep reading... Show less
News

Trump's Nixon Moment. Wonkagenda For Wed., Feb. 6, 2019

Democrats refuse to stand for Trump's American carnage, Stacey Abrams is PERFECT, and Robert Mueller is following the rubles. Your morning news brief!

Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today!

Keep reading... Show less
News

Something's Coming. Wonkagenda For Fri., Feb. 01, 2019

Trump falls asleep in history class, Cory Booker announces his 2020 run, and net neutrality shenanigans. Your morning news brief!

Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.

Keep reading... Show less
News

Getting Hot In Herre! Wonkagenda For Tues.,  Jan. 29, 2019

Meatball is cooked, Kamala kicks ass, and everyone hates Howard Schultz. Your morning news brief!

Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.

Keep reading... Show less
News

'No Cave!' Wonkagenda For Tues., Jan. 22, 2019

Trump's shutdown drags on, and Rudy doesn't care what you put on his grave. Your morning news brief!

Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.

Keep reading... Show less
Elections

OK, MAYBE There Was Collusion.  Wonkagenda For Thurs., Jan. 17, 2019

ALLEGEDLY drunk Rudy Giuliani denies his denial, Michael Cohen ALLEGEDLY paid $50,000 to be an internet sex symbol, and Trump to re-start Star Wars. Your morning news brief!

Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.

Keep reading... Show less
Trade War

Black Farmers Not Interested In Serving In Trump's Trade War

White farmers mostly okay with it.

Months ago, we brought you the story of those intrepid soybean farmers who steadfastly cling to their support for Trump. Some of these men were even willing to die for Trump's bullshit; this is how insane America is right now. These men are also the most important people in the nation, besides the coal miners, and the MAGA people who feel marginalized by coworkers speaking Spanish, so it is very important that we keep tabs on them. Last time we saw them, they were still supporting Trump, even though their soybeans were rotting in the fields due to high storage prices and retaliatory tariffs. Things were already rough for them, and they were in desperate need of those promised payments from the federal government, but instead Trump ate their faces off, and it was "sad."

This week, that obstinate orange foolius is up to his old trick of lying to the only people who believe him these days; he attended the 100th annual convention of the American Farm Bureau Federation. He went there to whine about his stupid wall, not to help the farmers, so you were probably fooled by that but good.

Keep reading... Show less
Trade War

He Never Said 'Mexico.' Wonkagenda For Fri., Jan. 11, 2019

Trump "maybe definitely" declaring national emergency, federal workers get checks for $0, and RBG is just fine. Your morning news brief!

Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.

Keep reading... Show less
Elections

'I'm Still Doing It.' Wonkagenda For Wed., Jan. 9, 2019

Buncha bullshit about Trump's wall, but many other stories too! Your morning news brief!

Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.

Keep reading... Show less
News

President Sh*tmouth. Wonkagenda For Tues., Jan. 8, 2019

Trump to make TV worse with prime time address, and the government shutdown gets worse. Your morning news brief!

Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.

Keep reading... Show less
Elections

Be The Terror You Want To See In The World! Wonkagenda For Mon., Jan. 7, 2019

It's not a 'concrete wall' anymore, Dems put on their Investigatin' shoes, and Joe Biden gets ready to run. Your morning news brief!

Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.

Keep reading... Show less
Trade War

No No, The Trade War Is Awesome It'll All Be Fine!

I've got your trade war hangin'!

Sorry to interrupt this very happy day, but it looks like we may be in for a wee smidge of economic turbulence. Yesterday morning, President Arty McDeals played Game of Sycophants while dribbling onto a giant poster of himself emblazoned with the words, "Sanctions Are Coming." Just hours later, Apple halted trading of its shares to announce that its first quarter expected profits will be down substantially. Seems that sanctions are already here, and they're taking a huge bite out of the American economy. Trade wars are good and easy to win!

Despite Donald Trump's constant insistence that the Chinese are paying when we sanction their imports, here on Planet Earth, it is actually American importers coughing up the cash and then passing the additional cost on to consumers. Do you see Xi Jin Ping ranting about American farmers paying for a new Great Wall through the yuuuuge soybean tariffs enacted by his government in response to American levies? No, you don't! Because President Xi is not A IDIOT. And also because Chinese pig producers can simply buy their soybeans from Brazil instead, leaving North Dakota farmers with silos full of rotting legumes.

Keep reading... Show less
Trade War

If Democrats Won't Give Trump WALL, He's Gonna Burn Iowa TO THE GROUND!

GENIUS!

Nutless Wonder Paul Ryan is about to P90X his way out of DC "for good," or at least until he gets done registering for wingnut welfare. After getting fragged by Ann Coulter and Rush Limbaugh, Trump backed out of the temporary budget deal that had passed the Senate without WALL money. And instead of calling his bluff and passing the bill they'd all agreed on, Ryan folded like the pair of twos we always knew he was. Slow clap for Paul Ryan, and he exits stage right into ignominy.

So now what?

Well, now we wait for Nancy Pelosi to come in and get shit done. We're closing in on a week of federal government shutdown. The halls of Congress are empty, trash is piling up in federal parks, the EPA has run out of temporary funds and will be shuttered tonight, the Smithsonian will close its doors January 2, and 800,000 federal employees, plus countless additional subcontractors, are without paychecks during the holidays. And throughout it all, the Mad King tweets.

Keep reading... Show less
Guns

'Still A Believer In Santa?' Wonkagenda For Wed., Dec. 26, 2018

Trump insults a seven-year-old, and holds the country hostage. Your morning news brief!

Happy Kwanzaa and Boxing Day, Wonketariat! We'll be slow-posting with both Evan and Dok out, so just consider it "artisanal." Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.

Keep reading... Show less
Russia

Shutdown Shitshow Season Finale. Wonkagenda For Fri., Dec. 21, 2018

Jim Mattis quits, Trump wants his wall, and China is stealing EVERYTHING. Your morning news brief!

Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.

Keep reading... Show less
Elections

Maybe Mexico Won't Pay For It? Wonkagenda For Wed., Dec. 19, 2018

Trump's not so proud to shut the government down anymore, and Facebook gave away all your shit. Your morning news brief!

Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.

Keep reading... Show less
Donate

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Newsletter

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc