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Tropical Deathstorm Forming, Could Impact Spill, But Not On Day 93

News

  • Just when you thought that everything was returning to normal in the Black Gulf (OMG IS THAT RACIST?!? PLEASE DON'T FIRE ME GREAT AND POWERFUL EDITOR KEN LAYNE!!11!! BREITBART CAN HAZ TEH VIDEOS!) there appears to be a tropical death-storm forming in the Caribbean Sea. Presently it has a 60% chance of forming into a tropical death-storm. Where will it go? Just like the cleanup operations, nobody knows -- but it will likely crash into Florida or end up stirring shit up in the Gulf. [NOAA]
  • Local Alabama news lady gathers samples of water from local beaches where kids are playing and building sandcastles. The samples contain high levels of petroleum. The levels were so high in one sample that it went boom just like the oil rig. We have another Love Canal in the making! [WKRG]
  • Think all the vessels of opportunity and the forced hiring of all the inexperienced locals is saving the Gulf and making things right like Tony promised? WRONG. [Miami Herald]
  • The pressure in the oil well continues its slow climb of 1 PSI per hour, and Admiralismo Allen authorized another 24 hour period of usage for the capped well. It appears that BP and Allen are no longer fighting over that note and are BFFs ... for now. [New Orleans Times-Picayune]
  • The Deepwater Horizon spill is some weak sauce when compared to the deforestation of Hatti and the Great Pacific Garbage Patch. The what, you say? Oh right those disasters don't have sad pictures of cute turtles and pelicans choking on oil so we don't care that much. [Reason]
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Former Colorado state legislator and internet-elevangelist Gordon Klingenschmitt (his name is my name too) knows why we hate Trump. Is it because he is a terrible person and a terrible President? Is it because he says horrible things all of the time? Is it because he had the motherfucking gall to refer to Aretha Franklin as someone who worked for him?

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Trump supporters -- you can't take them anywhere. One idiot Trump supporter in Sacramento, California proved that at a recent Social Distortion show, where he thought it might be a good idea to be a dick to lead singer Mike Ness, the most perfect human man in all of existence. It did not go well.

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