Trucker Convoys Yet To Decide Whether To Sh*t Or Go Blind

Right Wing Extremism
Trucker Convoys Yet To Decide Whether To Sh*t Or Go Blind

At least two "trucker convoys" are headed towards Washington, DC today, where they plan to do something, no one, including themselves, is entirely sure what. The most they've got, it seems, is that they want to be "annoying" and they want "accountability" so that they are never again mildly inconvenienced in order to protect the lives of others.

The first group is The People's Convoy — which, adorably, really does not seem to understand the connotation of "The People's" anything that is not a television court show.

From their own press release:

The message of The People’s Convoy is simple. The last 23 months of the COVID-19 pandemic have been a rough road for all Americans to travel: spiritually, emotionally, physically, and – not least – financially. With the advent of the vaccine and workable therapeutic agents, along with the hard work of so many sectors that contributed to declining COVID-19 cases and severity of illness, it is now time to re-open the country. The average American worker needs to be able to end-run the economic hardships of the last two years, and get back to the business of making bread – so they can pay their rents and mortgages and help jumpstart this economy. To that end, it’s time for elected officials to work with the blue collar and white-collar workers of America and restore accountability and liberty – by lifting all mandates and ending the state of emergency – as COVID is well-in-hand now, and Americans need to get back to work in a free and unrestricted manner.


We all understand that people need to pay their rent and mortgages. What no one understands, however, is what mandates are currently getting in the way of them doing that. If it's a vaccine mandate for truckers crossing the border, then they can't precisely cite the vaccine as a reason for why that mandate should not exist, can they?

The fun thing about this particular "cause" is that it's very nature makes those involved think that they are actually doing something. Many believe that restrictions are again being loosened because they were heard and empathized with, rather than because the restrictions they are so upset about led to a decrease in COVID cases. Of course, this would likely not occur to the kind of people who think the restrictions exist just to punish them and make them sad.

Of course, organizers say it's not a "win" yet, and are demanding that the government "take accountability," whatever the hell that means. In Hugh Hewitt's fawning coverage of the People's Convoy in the Washington Post (a guy from his church is a participant!), spokesperson Lynne Kristensen was quoted as saying:

“While mask mandates start to end and people believe they are regaining their freedoms, the People’s Convoy knows these are overdue back steps [and] should not be considered a win,” she continued. “The request from the People’s Convoy is not only to end the National State of Emergency, which led to these unscientific and illogical mandates, but is also demanding government accountability through full and transparent congressional hearings. This situation and gross abuse of power should never be allowed to happen again.”

People were/are dying, Lynne.

The mandates were very scientific and very logical, they were just inconvenient. And I get it! Masks are not a great time for me, either. I barely have any nostrils to speak of to begin with, chronic sinus issues and they make my face itch. I would obviously prefer not to wear them, but given the choice between that and someone dying because of me, I am happy to pick the former. Like other decent human beings.

The only thing we know about the People's Convoy's plan today is that their website states "We are NOT going into DC proper." It also says "We are NOT associated with Bob Bolus or other convoys who are planning to go into DC," referring to a "convoy" of pretty much one dude that went to DC a week or so ago to stop traffic and then didn't bother. It also states "this freedom-loving movement is about the journey, not the destination," suggesting either that even they are not sure what their deal is or that they are big Aerosmith fans.

So far, this group has actually not left Hagerstown, Maryland and may just decide to stay there for another day at least.

One of the other convoys, however — the American branch of the Freedom Convoy — is even more kooky. They've got a whole lot of QAnon people, including the ones in that cult that thought JFK Jr. was coming back to them in the place where his dad was shot, and probably some flat earthers for good measure.

Ben Collins reports at NBC:

But as its Covid mission has become less clear, the group’s channels have turned to Russia’s invasion of Ukraine, where conspiracy-minded thinking has flourished. While some group members have admonished Russian President Vladimir Putin for the invasion, QAnon and anti-vaccine contingents within the groups have seized on a false conspiracy theory that the war is a cover for a military operation backed by former President Donald Trump in Ukraine.

The conspiracy theory, which is baseless and has roots in QAnon mythology, alleges that Trump and Putin are secretly working together to stop bioweapons from being made by Dr. Anthony Fauci in Ukraine and that shelling in Ukraine has targeted the secret laboratories. Fauci, director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, has emerged in the past year as a main target for far-right conspiracy theories.

They actually do plan to do some stuff, with organizer Dan Fitzgerald saying “I can tell you now that there will be select trucks going to the White House" on a recent YouTube livestream.

That has yet to occur.

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Robyn Pennacchia

Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse

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