True Tales Of John McCain's Gambling Exploits!
John McCain can stand up for several hours at a time and play games of chance for money! One eyewitness report comes from Above the Law's David Lat, who used to write for Wonkette before he got classy.
Here is the True Tale of this one time John McCain played craps in 2004:
We were impressed by Senator McCain's stamina. It was well past midnight, he was on his feet for several hours (no sitting allowed at the craps table), and he was still going strong. We were also impressed by his large stack of chips. [Hey-oh! -- Ed.] He wasn't the luckiest roller; when it was his turn to shoot, he "sevened out" after about three rolls of the dice. But the table was generally hot, so he did well betting on other players.
And he hasn't paid taxes on any of his gambling "earnings" for the past couple years because he hasn't had time to play craps, or maybe he has just been a loser. The point is, this will all go over fabulously with nutjob religious freaks who believe that frigging bingo is gambling.
John McCain's Tax Returns: What Happens in Vegas, Stays in Vegas [Above the Law]