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Bianna Goldryga chuck jones Dana Rohrabacher Donald Trump Eric Trump Hugo Teufel innaugration ivanka trump jill stein recount ted cruz

Trump Already An Old Man Yelling At His TV! Wonkagenda for Thursday, December 8, 2016

News
Dominic Gwinn
December 08, 2016 09:44 AM

Morning Wonkers! Here's some of the things we might be talking about and 'splainering today!

  • Donald Trump got into a predictable Twitter war last night with the president of the union local at Carrier's Indianapolis plant, after Local 1999 president Chuck Jones called Trump a liar on several different teevee shows. And really, it's not like Trump has anything more important to do after he skips intel briefings while Pence picks his cabinet.

  • The inauguration might not be the gold-plated, grandiose affair that Donald Trump wants, since there are five different federal agencies in charge of security, including the D.C. Metropolitan Police Department, but don't worry: those bureaucrats won't stop him from making a presidential inauguration all about himself.

  • Donald Trump and his spawn are plotting to maintain control over their business, despite all the bigly tweets and "promises" that they'll divest.

  • A federal judge has reversed his own ruling ordering a recount in Michigan after being pressured by Trumpkin lawyers who won an appeal on the grounds that Jill Stein wasn't an "aggrieved person", just an opportunist.

  • Donald Trump has nominated the worst possible EPA administrator ever in the history of the EPA, Oklahoma Attorney General Scott Pruitt, who has spent most of his career suing the EPA on behalf of oil companies.

  • Another former Bush 43 alumnus, Hugo Teufel, will come back to DHS to helm the office in charge of FOIA requests and Crom only knows how that will go over.

  • The Koch brothers are laying off some of the workers in their network of wingnut advocacy groups. They're also setting up a whole new scam: a for-profit consulting firm that will charge their non-profits for advice. Neat trick! Also, looks like the Kochs may be gearing up for war with Trump to promote their version of mean-assed corporate libertarianism.

  • Watch nice reporter lady and Soviet political refugee Bianna Goldryga call out Rep. Dana Rohrabacher for his claims of bias while Rohrbacher blathers about how much he loves Vladimir Putin and his human rights record of killing journalists and political opponents.

  • If you thought #PizzaGate was over now, you'd be wrong, as Alex Jones is expanding the scope and scale of pizzagate's garbage pile of suck while he denies his own involvement, and shifts the blame for fake news to Hillary Clinton and legitimate media outlets. Makes sense!

  • That awful cop in San Antonio has admitted to giving a homeless person a sandwich full of dog poop. He didn't even bother to lie and say he was on hallucinating an episode of Top Chef.

  • An anti-gay preacher man in Not America Ghana claims he can not only turn into animals like some kind of shape-shifting robot, but also claims to be able enlarge your peener with the power of god and a special hands-on massage. Who says a church service shouldn't have a happy ending?

  • Here's some bizarre time for you! Watch Ted Cruz gush about his true love of hot steamy queso. Especially epic: he gags on a whole mouthful, only for it to dribble down his chin and onto his shirt where he licks it up with a gleeful smile, then holds his breath and dives in for more.

  • And here's your morning Nice Time, baby rock hyraxes. They're kind of like badgers, but cuter, and and they employ guards by their burrows!

    • Dominic Gwinn

    Dominic is a broke journalist in Chicago. You can find him in a dirty bar talking to weirdos, or in a gutter taking photos.

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