Trump Declares Self More Poorly Treated Than Lincoln, Who Was Assassinated

Trump

On April 14, 1865, during a production of Our American Cousin at Ford's Theater in Washington, DC, Abraham Lincoln was shot in the head by the actor John Wilkes Booth, as he laughed at the line "Well, I guess I know enough to turn you inside out, old gal; you sockdologizing old man-trap!" That was probably a pretty bad time. Certainly one of the worst things that can happen to a person while they are president, never mind while they are trying to enjoy a lighthearted comedy of manners.

President James A. Garfield's assassination was probably a worse time for him, given that it took him 79 whole days to die and Lincoln went instantly, but still, not a great time. It is certainly worse than getting to be alive and having a lot of people not like you. Arguably, that is the experience of most presidents, in general. Lincoln also had a whole Civil War to deal with, which was not a great time either.

Unlike Abraham Lincoln, Donald Trump is alive and well and has not been assassinated by anybody. Heck, he hasn't even been accused, by some rich dingbat, of not actually being an American citizen. He is surrounded by sycophants and has the undying love of millions of terrible people the world over. You would think he'd be happy! But no. According to Donald Trump, he is treated even worse than Abraham Lincoln — who, again, was assassinated.


During a live Fox News event titled "America Together: Returning to Work," Trump said, out loud, "They always said Lincoln, nobody got treated worse than Lincoln. I believe I am treated worse."

Again, Abraham Lincoln was assassinated. Donald Trump has not been assassinated. Journalists ask him tough questions sometimes, questions other than "Isn't it great how super great you are?" and that really hurts his feelings. Does it hurt worse than a bullet in the head? Probably not.

This is not the first time Trump has, inexplicably, competed with Abraham Lincoln this weekend. On Saturday, he quote tweeted a comment from some guy claiming that he had done more for "blacks" than all of the presidents combined, writing "So true, although Honest Abe wasn't bad. Thank you!"

I, for one, look forward to the day when he declares himself bigger than Jesus and we get to see a Fox "fact check" declaring the statement true, because of how people were shorter back then.

Wonkette is independent and fully funded by readers like you. Click below to tip us! Also if you are buying stuff on Amazon, click this link!

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Robyn Pennacchia

Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. In addition to her work at Wonkette, she also has a biweekly column at Dame. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse

Donate

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Newsletter

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc