Trump Idiot Lawyer John Dowd Pretty Sure King Trump Doesn't Have To Follow 'Laws'
President of America
During the campaign, Donald Trump liked to say he could shoot somebody in the middle of 5th Avenue and he wouldn't lose any followers (because his followers are very dumb sheep). Apparently, in the mind of Very Smart Trump Lawyer John Dowd, Trump could shoot somebody in the middle of 5th Avenue and it wouldn't even be a crime, because after all, the president can't commit crimes, because if the president does it, it's not illegal. Where have we heard that before? And what happened to the guy who said it?
The "President cannot obstruct justice because he is the chief law enforcement officer under [the Constitution's Article II] and has every right to express his view of any case," [Trump lawyer John] Dowd claims.
See? In America, we have a king, and the king is above the law, as per the founding fathers' instructions. That is the whole point of America, and if you don't know that, you just don't know history very good.
Dowd, of course, claims it was HE who drafted the Trump tweet that made Legal Twitter literally die of LOLs, about how Trump fired Michael Flynn because he lied to Mike Pence AND ALSO because he lied to the FBI. "Wait, hold the fuck up! If Trump knew Flynn lied to the FBI way back then, and THEN he pressured James Comey to lay off Flynn, and THEN he fired James Comey for refusing to kill the Russia investigation, isn't that the ball game on obstruction of justice for Mueller?" Yes, yes it is. Except now, Very Smart John Dowd has 'splained that everybody is wrong, because Trump's status as president means he's legally incapable of committing a crime.
Also, according to Trump, he didn't pressure Comey to stop the Russia investigation:
Who you gonna believe, lying liar Donald Trump or James Comey's motherfuckin' memos?
Dowd, who is, again, Very Smart, told the Washington Post on Sunday that Trump knew the account Flynn gave the FBI about his conversations with the Russian ambassador was basically the same as what he told Mike Pence, but that Trump didn't know they were lies because Sally Yates didn't say the word "lie" when she talked to White House counsel Don McGahn about how Flynn was a dirty compromised liar, therefore Donald Trump is innocent. Bad Sally Yates! Good President Dipshit!
Wonder why Trump and his highly qualified legal eagles are so het up right now. Could it be because now, with Flynn flipped and cooperating with Robert Mueller, they know Trump's high crimes and misdemeanors are about to be exposed like an "Access Hollywood" tape? It does sound that way!
Axios and Politico quote a couple legal smarty pantses who say actually Dowd and Trump are full of shit. First Axios:
Bob Bauer, an NYU law professor and former White House counsel to President Obama, told me: "It is certainly possible for a president to obstruct justice. The case for immunity has its adherents, but they based their position largely on the consideration that a president subject to prosecution would be unable to perform the duties of the office, a result that they see as constitutionally intolerable."
Peter Zeidenberg, who served on the Justice Department’s special prosecution team during the George W. Bush-era Valerie Plame investigation, said Trump’s tweets and public statements “are extremely damaging to him and helpful to Mueller’s team.”
“The toughest thing in bringing an obstruction case is proving the state of mind of the defendant,” Zeidenberg said. “Trump is making their job easy.”
Um, did John Dowd not just say the president can't commit crimes?
Kind people might suggest Trump should seek out better legal counsel. Not to be a discussing pug about it or anything, but Wonkette thinks he deserves these cockwaffles he's got.
Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT HERE.