Trump Wants A Cool AG Who Will Only Prosecute Democrats
While you were out grilling hamburgers and buying a mattress to honor the Labor movement --
for which we are eternally grateful! -- the president celebrated by shit-tweeting the New York Times, Bashar al-Assad, the FBI, Jeff Sessions, James Comey, John Kerry, Democrats, and the head of the AFL-CIO. As is his sacred custom.
Because nothing honors the working man more than a public tantrum over the DOJ's failure to help out Republican candidates in the midterms.
How dare the "Jeff Sessions Justice Department" prosecute criminals for breaking the law! Doesn't he understand he's supposed to bury that shit until after November? Darn those pesky Democrats! If it weren't for those assholes, he could just fire that guy and get a real Attorney General who knows that the DOJ is supposed to be a political hitman for the Republican party. WHERE'S MY ROY COHN???
In point of fact, neither Republican congressman was swept up in "long running, Obama era investigations." Here's Rep. Chris Collins calling his son from a Trump White House picnic on June 22, 2017, allegedly telling him to dump shares of pharma stock after a failed clinical trial.
And the Hunter Family Griftapalooza continued through 2016 -- although the FEC first came knocking in April of that year. Why did Hunter insist upon running again when he knew his campaign had been under investigation for two whole years? Thanks, Obama!
Even in our current hellscape, an explicit call to weaponize the Justice Department in support of Republicans is some next-level crazy shit. Jeff Flake is sad, and Ben Sasse is also sad. Although neither of them is sad enough to do a damn thing about it, of course. Gotta get that Roe-killer confirmed!
Ironically, the Very Stable Genius may have made it more difficult for himself to fire Sessions by announcing his intention to boot him in favor of someone who'll use the DOJ exclusively to bash Dems. Preet Bharara tweeted, "This tweet is likely to be blown up as a poster on the House floor one day. Esp if Sessions is fired."
And Fox's Judge Napolitano was a total buzzkill this morning with the White Nationalist Couch Crew.
This is evidence of serious crime here, and there can't be two standards -- one for members of Congress, Republican members of Congress, and one for others. It is the duty of the Justice Department to prosecute crimes when they find them, and to bring indictments when a grand jury has decided there's enough evidence.
But is it even legal to listen in if the congressman wasn't using a government phone, wondered whichever blonde lady Fox stuck in there this morning between Doocy and the rapey one. Later in the interview, Napolitano added,
When the president says these things — basically, 'I want you to use Justice Department to help the Republican Party' — that is fodder for the cannon of Bob Mueller.
Yeah, no shit! Announcing your intention to get rid of your Attorney General because he won't obstruct justice is some extreme, outside-the-box thinking.
TICK TOCK, MOTHERFUCKERS!
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Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.