White House

Biden Team Slams Door On T---p Defense Holdovers, Will Clean This Sh*t Up Alone, Thanks.

They've done enough.

Let's skip to the punchline first, shall we? President Biden just told Trump's (acting) Secretary of Defense Christopher Miller to GTFO. Invited him to hit the road, Jack. And also cautioned him not to let the doorknob hit ya where the good Lord split ya. To wit, he's not getting any office space during the transition, because Bye, Felicia!

"Given Mr. Miller's acting capacity in that role, as well as reduced staffing and occupation of the Pentagon and auxiliary offices during Covid-19, we deemed it appropriate not to extend that perk in this instance," a Biden transition official told CNN yesterday before the inauguration.

An outgoing Trump staffer bitched that, "Excuses aside, the American people see this break in a long tradition of accommodation, proper records management, continuity of government and good manners for what it is: the last petty act of this transition's intransigent party."


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M-----a T---p Sends Ghostwritten F*ck-You Notes To White House Staff

We shall now ignore her forever.

During the four years that Melania Trump haunted the White House, the residence staff attended to her and her family's needs without vocal complaint. A normal human-resembling first lady who isn't hot garbage would want to personally thank the 80 or so staffers. Obviously, Trump took the road more often traveled by assholes.

CNN reports that the household staff received typewritten (!) thank-you notes from Melania Trump that were also ghostwritten by someone else. Trump couldn't be bothered because she's terrible, which doesn't seem to bother her. She assigned the task to a "lower-level East Wing staffer" who was supposed to write the notes in Trump's “voice," so we presume they're all self-centered and remote. If she's too lazy to write her own thank-you notes, then maybe there was a “Fake Melania" who handled her more grueling duties like boarding airplanes with her husband.

She apparently signed her own name, though, while struggling to find the strength to raise her arm. We're surprised she went that far. Maybe she has a "Melania Trump" stamp.

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Culture Wars

Biden Just Deleted The Stupid Ahistorical Bullsh*ts Of T---p's '1776 Commission Report'

It's a new day.

Donald Trump's dumb foray into half-hearted Culture Warring, the "1776 Commission," which was thrown together in September as one more sop to the Christian Right, took the occasion of Monday's Martin Luther King holiday to poop out a 45-page report reviewing some completely objective, "nonpartisan" facts about American history and how it should be taught. The goal, as usual with rightwing history distortion, is again to save the country from socialism, especially from the New York Times Magazine's 1619 Project.

How good is this commission on teaching American history? For one thing, its membership doesn't include any historians, guaranteeing it can't be biased. It also lacks a works cited page, or any hint of which commission members wrote it.

Historians have already had a field day calling the report garbage; the head of the American Historical Association, James Grossman, said it's a "hack job. It's not a work of history. [...] It's a work of contentious politics designed to stoke culture wars." On the whole, the report is just one more rightwing iteration of some very old panic about education, a call to fix America by teaching history as simplistic Founder worship.

Happily, the 1776 Commission Report is likely to have minimal influence. Because it's already been deleted. Thank goodness for the Wayback Machine!

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White House

One Last Grift On His Way Out The Door

T----p pardons some weird shit.

It's a perfect, perfect list. No, really.

Trump's last-second pardons are out, and there could not be a more consummate encapsulation of the last four years, which are now over. The venality, the favoritism, the naked corruption, the gross tokenism ... it's all there.

"No one's done more for the blacks," he'll say. "I pardoned Tiny Wayne and that mayor, the one Diamond and Silk told me about. Those people love me."

"And no one's done more for the Jews! I pardoned that Israeli spy handler. It meant a lot to them."

He won't talk about the absolute gravy train of corruption that led to dozens of white collar convictions being wiped away after a blizzard of lobbying fueled by cash and connections. Why would he? To him it's normal that a wealthy sports gambler should pay Trump's former attorney John Dowd to work his White House connections to get an insider trading conviction commuted. Why shouldn't former prosecutor Brett Tolman collect money from clients lobbying to get a pardon, while simultaneously advising the White House on the issuance of pardons? How would a president know who deserves clemency without a cottage industry of hustlers looking to sell their access or do some business in the favor economy?

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