alec baldwinBob MarshalCarter Pagechuck schumerDonald Trumpelijah cummingsgeorge w. bushhackinginaugurationInauguration ConcertJames Kellyjames mattiskanye westkellyanne conwaymichael mooreObamapaul manafortprotestspt News Briefroger stonerussiastaffstate departmentwhite house
ElectionsJanuary 20, 2017 09:15 AM
Trump's LOW ENERGY Inauguration. Wonkagenda for Friday, January 20, 2016
Morning Wonketariate. You know what today is, and while weather in D.C. is projected to be shitty as the next administration, Yr Wonkette will be here with Nice Times and 'splainerings for you. In the meantime, here's some of the things we may be talking about while day drinking today!
- By the time you read this, Donald Trump will probably deny that his administration is so understaffed that it will keep 50 State Department and national security people from the Obama administration, and that he has only appointed 29 people for 660 executive positions. Ready on day one, right?
- An investigation of intercepted communiques between Trump associates and Russia will probably be killed later this afternoon because it might make Carter Page, Roger Stone and Paul Manafort look like they were up to no good during the election.
- The only certainty in the potential cabinet of Trump's appointees is how much they hate Obama-era policies assuming the government should look after the little people by employing qualified and passionate technocrats instead of minions and cranks. However, Sillyanne has a different theory about why the Senate plans to confirm only two of Trump's cabinet nominations today.
- More than 60 House Democrats will skip the inauguration, which is perhaps the largest protest by legislators in U.S. history, except we don't really keep records of those kinds of things.
- Elijah Cummings won't tell you why congress critters are protesting because rule number one of congressional fight club is you're not supposed to talk about secret Russian hacking.
- Protests continued last night ahead of the inauguration, with people throwing shit at Delpor-a-Ball attendees in Washington, celebrities rallying in New York with Michael Moore (and Alec Baldwin's Trump impression), and demonstrators with big signs London's Tower Bridge.
- Virginia Delegate Bob Marshall called fellow Republicans "disgusting" and "cowards" after a state House subcommittee voted to kill his "bathroom bill." Lawmakers felt people should be able to pee or change clothes where they wanted. The nerve of some people!
- No one knows what advice Obama will give in his customary letter to his successor, but George W. Bush's letter to Obama has just been released, and surprisingly enough, it wasn't written with finger paint.
- Have some Trivia Time on the Oath of Office for the bar! Did you know some presidents were godless heathens, and refused to be sworn in on a Bible? It's true!
- Here's a somber photo essay of an empty White House in transition. Notice how the lazy socialists left behind some picture frames and office supplies.
- Trump's Presidential Inauguration Committee decided Kanye West wasn't "traditionally American" enough to perform at the Lincoln Memorial, opting instead for a hodge podge of yokels and mediocre musicians to perform at Trump's sad state-fair inaugural concert. The event was so poorly attended it couldn't fill up the National Mall. Worst party OF ALL TIME! Needless to say, Trump said it was an unprecedented success.
- And here's some special Nice Time: Stephen Colbert featuring the OTHER Stephen Colbert('s cousin) with a final, "#ThanksObama."
Dominic is a broke journalist in Chicago. You can find him in a dirty bar talking to weirdos, or in a gutter taking photos.