Trump's Wall To Be 10 Feet Taller Because Mexico Hurt His Feelings With Swears
Artistic rendering, may not be to scale.
Alack and alas and oh his poor stars and whiskers, Donald Trump is offended because former Mexican El Presidente Vicente Fox said a mean word about him! Listen, Vicente Fox; only one politician gets to say mean words to people in this here political game, and that person is Donald J. Trump, thank you very much.
When Fusion's Jorge Ramos asked about Donald Trump's proposed wall, which he has repeatedly said Mexico will pay for because reasons, Fox echoed current Mexican President Enrique Peña Nieto that, uh, that's not going to happen. Specifically, he said (and this is a direct quote, because occasionally the universe loves us and wants us to be happy):
I'm not going to pay for that fucking wall. He should pay for it. He's got the money.
Yes, he actually dropped an f-bomb on Trump! He also dropped perhaps a bigger (if less R-rated) fuck you on El Trumpidente later in the same interview:
"Democracy cannot take us to crazy people," Fox responded when asked if he was afraid that Trump would win the election.
Mr. Fox, you have far more faith in the American people than you should.
Fortunately (or unfortunately, if you were like us and were stuck watching that shit show for HOURS AND HOURS DEAR GOD WHY WERE THERE NO PEE BREAKS), we had another Republican debate Thursday night, this time on *sigh* CNN. Would one of the moderators like to ask about Vicente Fox's big ole middle finger aimed right up Donald's Trump? You bet they would!
BLITZER: The spokesperson for the current president of Mexico says that will never happen. The last two presidents of Mexico say that will never happen. In fact, the former president of Mexico, Vicente Fox -- he said today, and I'm quoting him -- he said, "I'm not going to pay for that," quote, "effing wall."
So if you don't get an actual check from the Mexican government for $8 billion or $10 billion or $12 billion, whatever it will cost, how are you going to make them pay for the wall?
TRUMP: I will, and the wall just got 10 feet taller, believe me.
It just got 10 feet taller. I saw him make that -- I saw him make the statement. I saw him use the word that he used. I can only tell you, if I would have used even half of that word, it would have been national scandal.
This guy used a filthy, disgusting word on television, and he should be ashamed of himself, and he should apologize, OK?
Donald Trump is just fucking scandalized that Vicente Fox used a DISGUSTING word like "fuck!" That fucking pisses him off, because how come he doesn't fucking get to say fuck? FUCKING UNFAIR DOUBLE STANDARDS!
OOOOOOH WHAT A BURN, though! "Ten feet taller!" Yowza, that -- hey, wait a goddamn minute, he didn't answer the question about how he's going to get Mexico to pay for his gold-plated fence! Look, Donald, you don't get to bully and intimidate people in lieu of answering actual questions and haha just kidding that's exactly what you get to do.
That line got applause. People actually cheered. A lot of them then likely turned to each other and knowingly said, "That Vicente Fox guy is probably one o' them Messican rapists what we been hearin' about." Then they called him "FOXBAMA" or something because they're not very good at insults.
This man is winning the nomination. We just ... we give up. Fuck it. Burn America down.