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Trusted D.C. Source Says GOP Congressman Aaron Schock Is Gay

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Oooo, is this Gay Day? Is it always like this around here?


Well look: Firstly, we do not really want to be in the "outing the gay people" business. But that does happen in Washington with the Republican senators and congressman every few months, so it seems we're on that beat for the time being. Plus, this guy is a pro-torture creep who very aggressively fought against the protection of hate-crimes legislation for homosexuals attacked for being homosexuals, which happens a lot.

So, this nice man Princess Sparkle Pony who used to write for Wonkette way back when I was first learning what gay *meant*, well he has this news:

"Everyone Knows" Aaron Schock Is "Def. Gay"

We are ashamed to say we have not heard of this Rep. Aaron Schock. If you only read Wonkette, you could be forgiven for thinking the only congressperson in America is that scary witch lady, Michele Bachmann. So let's google him. Ohhhhh, look what comes up first:

I'm sorry, but that last picture *screams* gay. It is a sad fact of America 2011 that straight guys never look that good. There are lots of sexy details here: [Princess Sparkle Pony]

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It was bound to happen. We're now watching Republican congressmen react to Donald Trump sitting in the Oval Office and saying "RUSSIA IF YOU'RE LISTENING" during an interview with George Stephanopoulos, literally inviting hostile foreign powers to attack the 2020 election for him like Russia did in 2016. And if you thought there wouldn't be at least one of them to say the quiet part loud and state for the record that crime is good if it helps Republicans win, then you haven't been paying attention to the Republican party in quite a while.

Enter GOP Rep. Chris Stewart of Utah, who sits on the House Intelligence Committee, AKA the committee whose members really should know better, even the Republicans, but unfortunately they don't because A) they're idiots and B) they've been sucking at Devin Nunes's dairy cows' teats (ALLEGEDLY) for too long:

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Spinal Tap - Gimme Some Money

Some dick is suing your Wonkette! If you are able, will you please send money?

1. Pick "just once" or "monthly."

2. Pick an amount, like say "all of the money."

3. Click "paypal" if you are paypal or "stripe" if you are not paypal.

4. MONEY.

5. Carry on with your day, and with new posts below!

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