TSA Helpfully Reminds Travelers That Muslims Exist, Sometimes Use Airplanes To Travel
Are you planning to travel from a place to another place by way of airplane in the next month or so? Well, if you happen to spot people in the airportwho are abstaining from "from any food, water, smoking, or vices of any kind," do not be afraid, says the Transportation Security Administration! Those weirdos are probably not terrorists who are going to shoe-bomb you with their bigger-than-3-ounces bottle of shampoo. No, they are just Muslims:
The Muslim holiday starts Monday evening. On its website, the TSA released a statement telling travelers and security staff that for the next month Muslims might be seen in airports "engaged in religious practices and meditations during Ramadan." To avoid concern, apparently, the TSA lists some of those practices, many of which are commonplace for many Muslims.
Isn't this so nice and helpful of the TSA to assure stupid Americans who are easily "concerned" that if they see other people doing stuff -- scary, Muslimy stuff like "cleansing or washing of certain areas of the body" -- it is okay and they do not need to be afraid and call the tipline to report terra-ism or buy duct tape because ORANGE ALERT! or stop, drop, and roll? Thank you, TSA, that is very very very helpful. Say, do you have any tips for how to reassure stupid Americans in case they spot a Jew person doing Jew stuff?
Observant travelers may be wearing a head covering, prayer shawl, and phylacteries — in Hebrew, kippah, tallit, and tefillin. Some travelers will be carrying boxes of matzoh, which are consumed as part of the Passover ritual.
Thanks, TSA! Now that you have posted your helpful information, we will not be concerned or alarmed if we see travelers in the airport carrying boxes of big, dry crackers that taste pretty much like sawdust, which is why we Jew persons only eat them once a year, piled high with horseradish to mask the sawdust flavor. Please, TSA, keep doing exactly what you are doing to keep us culturally aware and not concerned and safe from terrorists, water bottles, and teens wearing clothes.